


All For The Love Of Keenser

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Weird But Beautiful [9]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Acid Mucus, Alien Biology, Alien Cultural Differences, Alien/Human Relationships, Aloof Spock, Angst and Humor, Arboretum, Bad Smells, Chamber Music, Chauvinism, Concerned Kirk, Confrontations, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Crew as Family, Crossdressing, Crusades, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cultural Attaches, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Dogpatch Reference, Dress Up, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Engines, Enterprise Bridge, Enterprise Engines, Established Friendship, Established Relationship, Fecking, First Time, Flirty Uhura, Flustered James T. Kirk, Foul Smells, Greasing, Green Planet, Happy Ending, Happy Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Irish References, James T. Kirk & Nyota Uhura Friendship, James T. Kirk & Spock Friendship, Knitting, Lappricons, Leprechauns, Love/Hate, M/M, Male Friendship, Marryin' Sam Reference, Memory box, Mild Language, Mission Reports, Mucus, Music reference, Old Boys Club, Painting, Pan Flute, Penis Groping, Personality Issues, Plants, Rants, Ridged Penis, Romantic Friendship, Sarcasm, Sewing, Sex Talk, Sexual Fantasy, Shuttle Flying, Startled Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, Sure And Begorrah, Swimming, Swimming Pools, Teddy Bears, Tole Painting, Turbolift, Voyeur James T. Kirk, Voyeurism, Washington Irving Reference, alpha shift, away mission, battle of the sexes, concerned spock, green house, letting go, ranting, shuttles, spanner - Freeform, split, swimming trunks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24737596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Their new crewmates get curious about Scotty's relationship with Keenser, while Scotty just gets jealous.Meanwhile, Jim Kirk is having problems with Nyota Uhura while Spock is very supportive.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Spock, James T. Kirk/Nyota Uhura, Keenser/Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Spock, Montgomery "Scotty" Scott/Keenser, Pavel Chekov/Hikaru Sulu
Series: Weird But Beautiful [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761436
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	1. The Dire Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crusader Uhura is concerned about the offhanded way that Scotty treats Keenser, and she tries to gain support from her fellow officers, especially Jim Kirk who seems befuddled by her beguiling flirting. Spock tries to reassure Kirk.

With dark eyes flashing and showing the intense wrath she was feeling, Nyota Uhura slammed down her drink on the table and some of the liquid in it threatened to slosh out. But she paid it no heed. She had other things on her mind, none of which were domestic chores. "Surely this situation bothers the rest of you! Surely, somebody else has something to say about all of this than just me!"

The men all glanced at each other. No, not really, was the general consensus. Not a priority. Just sitting here enjoying a cold one after work and gassing a little with the gang, their wary and puzzled eyes seemed to be saying. And then all hell broke loose, and we're not entirely sure how it all started. But suddenly, we're in the middle of a thunderstorm, and we're not entirely sure how we got here.

Urhura huffed her disdain as her dark ponytail went flying in a wide arc. The guys on either side of her ducked, as if they were used to doing that. They probably were since they served with her on the Enterprise.

Men! Her very stance seemed to shout her opinion about their lack of interest.

Uhura's dark eyes were flashing with emotion and her walnut colored skin looked more luscious highlighted as it was with her anger. Every man in the room wondered if he could get that kind of emotional arousal out of her for him. Then he wondered if he knew what to do with her if he got her in such a state. But it might be fun to find out.

She was a beautiful woman, but right now she was an angry woman on a mission. She might've been angrier yet if she'd realized that she'd stirred the men in the room more with her beauty than her cause, and pity on them if she ever figured that much out.

She decided to try again to explain her concern. "Yeah, well, maybe I am being a busybody. But I'm saying that we can't just sit back and ignore what's going on right under our noses." Nyota Uhura was mad and she didn't care who knew it. But she could not, she WOULD not, allow the tears to come. Instead, she stared at the men in front of her, her fellow officers, and dared them to have the balls to contradict her. Most of them just looked bewildered. Granted, they too had wondered about what was going on with their newest crewmembers. But unlike Uhura, their philosophy seemed to be to live and let live. But Nyota knew that the guys were all fakes. They were just as curious as she was, but apparently didn't want to come out and address the issue that was suddenly in their mists. And Nyota was going to hold them accountable for it.

"Come on, guys!" she prodded at them. "You know what I'm talking about!"

"Well. Yeah. Yes," seemed to echo around the group of sheepish-acting men. Normally very aggressive and assertive, these space heroes could become very meek and timid when a woman took the floor, especially a woman who was as willful and plain-spoken as Uhura. And now this woman also had a Cause, a Cause to correct a Wrong so that it became a Right in her eyes and in the eyes of civilization and decency everywhere!

Besides, the Enterprise men did not want to admit to the fact that they could talk about "the Situation," but not address it or try to remedy it so that it would be more acceptable in polite society. But each had to admit that he was just as curious as Uhura.

Maybe just not as determined for change as she was, though.

Curiosity, of course, was what had started the talk. It always starts the talk. And the wondering. Because if people cannot learn the real facts about a situation, they will make up their own.

Lesser souls might call it "gossip," but can it be gossip when it is about one's fellow crewmates and comrades? After all, it is being conducted in their best interests. The concern, that is. Not the talk about them.

But whether curiosity, concern, or just plain old-fashioned gossip, Montgomery Scott and his sidekick Keenser got to be the hot topics of conversation on the Enterprise after they left Delta Vega and signed onto the Enterprise officially. Whether it was boredom over their brain-sapping, dull escort mission or whether it was because Spring was finally bursting out in full regalia at bases the crew visited, everyone seemed to snap up the topic of just what Scotty and Keenser were to each other.

“Just what kind of relationship do they have anyway?” Nyota Uhura wanted to know as her dark eyes flashed with interest. “Scotty berates Keenser at every turn. Rebuking him because only a small amount of food fills him up, acting like he's making everyone else seem like a glutton for eating a normal diet. Scowling at him being in the road and saying that people might trip over him because they can't see him. Hollering at him to get off equipment before he breaks something important."

"Maybe that's so the little guy won't fall and hurt himself," Chekov offered. "I tink that Mr. Scott is trying to keep Keenser from breaking something on himself, not just on the equipment."

"And I think you're being generous, Pavel," Sulu interjected. "Scotty probably just doesn't want anyone hurting the ship's precious engines, even if Keenser is an engineer himself and fully qualified to overhaul the Enterprise if he wanted."

"He could probably get into some really small places," Chekov agreed. Then he smiled fondly. "He's smaller than I am. I can finally feel like a giant around here."

"I just don't like the way that Scotty treats Keener, like he's in the way or something," Uhura continued. "Yet if Keenser isn’t right at his heels like a faithful dog at all times, Scotty is looking around for him.”

"Kinda like me and Spock here," McCoy said with a flirty grin at he looked fondly at Spock. "Can't live together and can't live apart. So we compromise."

"Details?" Sulu asked with an eager grin.

"Only if you and Pavel share, too," McCoy snapped back and got a laugh. That mellowed him, so he said, "Spock and I wouldn't want to try living without each other, either. I guess it’s one way to keep each other honest, though."

"Oh, is that what you two are doing, Dr. McCoy?" Sulu teased. "Keeping each other honest?"

"Somebody has to!" McCoy snorted through the good-natured laughter. "Although I probably have an easier job of doing that than Mr. Spock does. He's pretty straight-laced. An infraction of the rules wouldn't dare suggest itself to him. He never lets himself go. He prides himself with never letting emotion get the upper hand with him."

"Oh, I believe that I have my moments, Doctor," Spock objected. "But you would know more about that than I do, seeing as how you are the one who has been stirring me so much lately."

"Spock! Hush! There is a lady present! Besides, you shouldn't be bragging about yourself."

"I believe that I was bragging about you, Doctor," Spock answered with an honest-to-goodness smirk.

There was some more good-natured laughter at McCoy's expense as he first blushed, then looked fondly at Spock. "Can't deny the truth," he finally murmured. "Ain't turning this one loose any time soon."

Spock gave him a pointed look, and all kinds of electricity crackled between them.

"This is all very pleasant, but this isn't helping any with our problem with Scotty and Keenser," Uhura insisted to bring the conversation back to topic.

"We could leave them alone to wallow in their ignorance," McCoy suggested, then should've rolled over and died after the murderous look that Uhura shot at him. "Then, again, maybe the guys do need some help in their socialization process into shipboard life," he mumbled as a peace offering. "Sound better, Nyota?" he asked as he addressed the beautiful woman across the table from him.

She gave McCoy a sweet smile that should've warmed him through several layers of his skin and reached his curmudgeon heart. And it did, because McCoy felt quite pleased with himself.

"It sounds as if they had a pretty bleak and boring existence on Delta Vega," Uhura summarized. "With only the two of them stationed there, their whole routine must have been awfully limited."

"Scotty and Keenser were all they had when I came across them," Kirk added. "I guess all of that solitude and depending on each other made them think that they can't do anything on their own." He smiled wistfully. "Nothing wrong with that."

Uhura sidled up to Kirk and gently touched his arm as she leaned into him. "You know them better than anybody. And longer."

"Purely coincidental." He could tell she had an ulterior motive for crowding him, and it wasn't just to get his temperature and other parts of him rising. Although both were doing just that because of her nearness to him.

"You got them off that ice planet and onto this ship," she purred with expressive eyes. "Mr. Scott is probably pretty grateful for that. And you are his captain now. You probably have a lot of influence with him."

Kirk couldn't argue with any of those facts, so he said nothing. For someone noted for his glibness of speech, he was momentarily tongue-tied by a tiny woman. And seeing who she was, he was badly outnumbered.

Uhura sensed her victory. "You could maybe visit with Mr. Scott? Convince him of... broadening his horizons? And Keenser's?" she asked as she trailed her eyes across Kirk's tunic and up his face until she gave him an open-eyed, innocent stare full of possibilities. "Hmm?"

"Nyota…." Kirk sounded like he was pleading for mercy. There was so much unresolved angst between the two of them.

"Yes, that's my name," she said as she batted her lovely, dark eyes up at him. "And you say it so nicely. And I just know that you can say other things nicely, too." She cocked her eyebrow and gave him a knowing grin. "Can't you at least try... Captain? And you know you are my captain... don't you?" She fluttered her eyelashes at him again.

Kirk's breathe hitched. That last fluttering of her eyelashes had almost laid him low. At least, that's where the blow from it had landed on him. Low and straight to his hardening penis. "That's hardly fair," Kirk stammered. She knew full well what she was doing to him. His heart, and other things, were jumping around something fierce, and very soon everybody in the room would be aware of it, not just him and her.

He didn't know why she treated him this way. She was never this friendly around him unless they were with other people. And then she could make him feel and act like the backward farm boy that he used to be.

Spock gave Kirk a look that could only mean, 'Welcome to the club,' and Kirk knew he didn't stand a chance against that ponytailed sporting gal gazing up with expectation. If Spock had met his match with her, how did Kirk have a chance?

"I'll try," Kirk promised lamely before Uhura got complete victory and he was a sniveling idiot at her feet begging for her favors.

Uhura walked away with a barely contained grin, while Kirk busily tried to form in his mind just what he might say to Montgomery Scott. That was, if he still had a mind to think with after Uhura got through with him.

He forced himself to concentrate on one of his official duties and try to forget that swinging short skirt and that lovely walnut complex on one of the cutest, sassiest figures he'd ever seen. Damn, she was hot! Trouble was, she knew it. But she should. She needed to know what effect she had on men and their libidos. (Kirk was pretty certain that she had a good handle on her own sense of self-worth. If not, she certainly acted like it.)

And it wasn't all her fault. She just made Kirk grind his teeth in frustration because she was the one who had gotten away. And who continued to get away. But continued to be in his world. Her and her dark ponytail and sassy short skirt and perfect, perfect way of being a Starfleet officer were constantly with him. And all the while taunting him. That's what wrangled him. Her availability and her unavailability.

Hell, he snorted to himself as he took a deep breath and frowned. He didn't want to act as hung up on an unavailable woman as Hud Bannon had in the movie, "Hud." He didn't want to sound like Paul Newman saying to Patricia Neal as she prepared to get on the bus that would take her out of Hud's life forever, "I'll remember you, honey. You're the one that got away."

Was he really that callous and shallow? Was that all he wanted from an attractive person, be it male or female: a good lay? Didn't he want a relationship built on other things? Didn't he want friendship? Didn't he have good friendships with Spock and McCoy? Weren't they his best friends? Didn't he want to be friends with Uhura? Weren't they already?

Could they ever be just friends without this sexual tension swirling around them that always seemed to be present?

"Problem, Captain?" Spock asked coolly as he approached with his hands pulled behind his back.

"Are you being condescending, Mr. Spock, or just blind?!" Kirk snapped and rebuked himself. It wasn't Spock's fault. "Sorry. Forget I said that."

But of course Spock couldn't. He was like a sparrow, easily hurt and easily spooked. He raised an eyebrow in one of the rare displays of emotion that he allowed himself. "I was simply offering my services, Captain," he snipped. "I will withdraw my offer, though, if that is your wish." He started to turn away.

Kirk grabbed Spock's arm. "Wait! Don't go. Please. Don't show me your back, too. I know you only meant to help. Sorry, sorry about the way I snapped at you," he apologized in his most soothing voice. "Don't go. I need your help. Always." He gave Spock a pleading look. "Desperately. Especially now."

Spock visibly relaxed. "Nyota can be challenging," he said, hitting on Kirk's problem without being told. "And she can be quite adamant while she is in her crusader mode as she is in now. I believe that she is a worthy descendant of any of the great women whoever took on the institutions of men and toppled them."

"Now I know why the guys didn't have a chance," Kirk muttered. "How did you ever get along with her while you were a couple?"

"I was charmed by her fire and determination. And her ardor, especially when she turned it toward me. It can be quite... pleasant," he added with an eyebrow arching upwards.

"I don't know how you were ever able to report for duty."

"Some mornings, it was quite a challenge."

"It's not that she isn't a fantastic person and isn't highly qualified for her position. It's just that sometimes I'd like to see what it takes to make her weak in the knees and get her internal juices flowing." Kirk studied Spock with sudden interest. "You must've done that, didn't you? Got her all quivery and juicy?" Just thinking about it made Kirk all quivery and juicy inside, too.

"A gentleman does not kiss and tell, Captain," Spock said primly.

So there were some things that even Spock wouldn't do for his beloved captain. "Of course not. I didn't intend to compromise the trust and friendship that still exists between you two." He frowned. "I never did know. What happened that caused you to switch from her to McCoy? If you don't mind my asking, that is."

"Of course not, Captain. I may not answer, but you most certainly may ask."

"Oh, well, okay," Kirk mumbled, thoroughly rebuffed by that condescending voice. They may be the best of friends, but even Spock could act prissy with him at times. Of course, voyeur Kirk could just be getting too damn nosy for even Spock to allow.

Spock must have seen how his words had wounded Kirk, for he relented. "Jim, I am with Dr. McCoy now because he completes me as no one else ever has. Nyota was a wonderful love in my life, but Leonard IS the love of my life. I cannot imagine what it would be like not to have him waiting for me at the end of the day. Or what it would be like not to sleep in his arms and to see his face and to feel his lips on mine first thing in the morning. I cannot imagine what it would be like not to have his love whenever I need it."

Voyeur Kirk picked up on the intimate details of Spock's love life with McCoy and savored them, while outsider Kirk blushed at hearing about things that probably a guy should not be sharing about his intimate moments with his lover.

But Spock did not notice Kirk's ambivalence as he continued. "My only wish for Nyota is that she will find someone who will complete her as much as Dr. McCoy and I complete each other. Can you understand what I am saying?"

It felt odd to have Spock explaining relationship qualities to him, but Jim Kirk nodded slowly, then with a widening smile. "Yes, I believe I do. And I think that you and McCoy are both lucky people."

"That is what we think, too," Spock agreed as he touched Kirk's arm in a companionable way. "And we are both lucky to have you as our best friend. I understand that not too many men can say that about themselves."

"No, they can't, Mr. Spock," Kirk agreed. "Not all men are as lucky as we three are." And it almost made up for the ache in his heart.

But not quite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


	2. The Sensible Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk approaches Scotty about encouraging Keenser to mix more with the crew. But then voyeur Kirk stuns Scotty by asking for details about his private life with Keenser.

Well, that had been a very warming heart-to-heart chat with Spock about Uhura and everybody's assorted relationships, Kirk decided. It always bolstered his confidence in himself to talk with Spock. But it hadn't gotten Kirk any further with his situation about Montgomery Scott and Keenser. Just what could Kirk say to Scotty that wouldn't sound like interfering? Especially after his recent discussions with others?

Jim Kirk was of the opinion that whatever goes on in a man's quarters was that guy's business, and nobody else's. It'd always seemed like a wise policy to him, even though he did like to hear wicked details about other people's love life. He recognized that he was a shameless voyeur and a nosy little shit to boot. He daydreamed about microphones and video cameras set up in showers (both sexes) and in bedrooms (definitely both sexes), but his sense of decency prevented him from carrying out that particular daydream of his. He didn't want to be known as the horniest captain in Starfleet, although he probably already had that reputation and well deserved it. But he wanted it to be about himself, not that he could only jack off if he was stirred up by other people's sex lives.

And although he was a voyeur himself, he still believed that everyone had a right to his own privacy, especially about his personal sexual preferences. (A right to it, but that didn't mean that the person was immune to Kirk's prying. And charming rascal that he was, sometimes he could learn naughty tidbits just by leading people on. He just loved collecting all those juicy details!)

But he did not necessarily like that same interest turned back in his own direction!

Such contradictory views! And he wouldn't be having a lot of these moral dilemmas if he wasn't prodded so much by ethics. He realized, though, what an immoral little shit he would be if ethics weren't around to keep him on the straight and narrow.

Heaven only knew how reluctant he would be if everything that transpired in his quarters became public knowledge. The jungle telegraph on this ship would resound with the details of his love life for weeks. He'd be the subject of sly remarks and slyer looks, and some of them wouldn't always be complimentary.

Kirk had always appreciated the discretion of his suitemate, the honorable Mr. Spock, who must've overlooked a lot of questionable noises from Kirk's side of the bathroom door on more than one occasion. And Spock's sense of delicacy was more amazing when Kirk remembered how curious Spock could be. About anything!

Kirk tried to give Spock the same privacy. But after Spock started a physical relationship with McCoy, Kirk had to bend the rules he had on himself about them. It was just too spicy not to do so! Imagine! Spock and McCoy! Together! Just that fact alone always churned up Kirk's libido anyway. Especially since he could quite easily have had a relationship with either one of them.

On the whole, though, Kirk let people do about what they wanted to do with each other, as long as they were both consenting adult. But since the current situation involved someone who might not know of all the options available to him, an advocate had to step forward. Hard telling how much influence that Scotty had with Keenser, but Keenser had to be told that he had freedom of choice. He could be around other people, if he wanted.

Hopefully, Kirk could get Scotty to see reason.

But Scotty wasn't too open to Kirk's overtures, and Kirk realized that it was going to take a lot of convincing for Scotty to share Keenser.

“Scotty, you don’t own the guy,” Kirk said as gently as he could. “You’ve got to let him be his own person.”

Scotty pursed his lips together and didn’t answer, but his body language was shouting how obstinate he was about what Kirk was saying. Scotty kept his relationships tight and his heart tighter, and he wasn’t big about taking a chance on losing either one carelessly.

Kirk tried to be as understanding as possible. “Look, I know that you two had to rely on each other for a long time. I know that neither of you had anybody else on Delta Vega. It was boring and downright dangerous there. I should know. Man-eating monsters had a helluva fight over who was gonna have me for lunch, and not as a guest. It was a punishment for you to be there, just as it was for me. I don't know why Keenser wound up there, though."

"I've thought about that," Scotty said softly. "And I think it was because the Federation didn't know what else to do with him. He's an excellent engineer, you know, so he got sent to an automated station to keep it going. He didn't mind the solitude. It was a welcomed change after the prejudice he had known on his home planet. I was the interloper there, not him. He made a home for me, not the other way around. I wasn't too sociable when I first got there. In fact, I was kind of cranky about being banished. And just because of what happened to Admiral Archer's prized beagle! I could've made that hound famous in history!"

"The Admiral was kind of partial to that beagle. He didn't care if his dog was famous, just so he was there."

"Aye, I do regret that. I didn't mean to separate a man and his dog," Scotty had to admit. "The pooch must've moved at the last minute. Hard telling where he's chasing rabbits now or on what planet."

"Just so he's chasing rabbits, and not being chased by them," Kirk added. It was a reasonable assumption that all might not have gone well for that pooch, wherever he materialized.

"Aye, it was a mistake I made, and a bad one. But I didn't need my career ruined and sent off to rot in some hell hole of an ice planet!"

"Admirals can be exacting pricks when they want someone out of their hair badly enough. Any commanding officer can be," Kirk added, thinking of Spock practically handing him a death sentence in the disguise of a reprimand. "Get him off this ship!" a frustrated Spock had ordered, taking only the barest precautions for Kirk's survival or for the investment that Starfleet had already made in him. Money should have made an impression on Spock, even if an individual life didn't.

"Aye, and Keenser might've decided that his planet was getting too crowded when you arrived. Me, I was ecstatic with the new company. A fellow Earthling! Knew English and everything! Hadn't brought any sandwiches or real food with him, though. Just an ancient Vulcan who seemed thrilled to see me, even though I'd never laid eyes on him before. Even with the population of our little colony suddenly doubled, it didn't quite make up for the lack of supplies I'd been waiting for."

"Sorry about that, but I left the Enterprise rather unceremoniously. They hadn't asked me what I wanted to take with me. I think I'm probably pretty lucky that I was given a parka and gloves. And after I started tangling with those hungry monsters, I wished I'd been provided with an elephant gun or a hand-held bazooka. Bare hands were no match for those bad boys."

"So we almost didn't have the pleasure of your company or Mr. Spock's, either. Strange how things work out. Keenser suddenly got all of that company, whether he wanted it or not." He bit his lips together. "I think it wouldn't bother him to live there by himself again. He'd done it once, so why not again?"

"Come on, Scotty," Kirk said softly. "That's not what you're wanting to hear, and you know it. Keenser couldn't live there now by himself, either, not after he got used to having company."

"Aye, I suppose. I've ruined him for even that."

"I don't think he's looking at it that way. You socialized him. You taught him what it was like to care. You taught him what it was like to have someone care for him. He won't be wanting to give that up, not since he knows what it's like." Kirk smiled softly. "Hell, he'd follow you wherever you lead, even if he didn't readily agree that you two should be doing it." He taIked through Scotty's denial. "I saw how sad he was when you and I beamed onto the Enterprise. He didn't look like a guy who was happy to get back to the solitary life. Heck, he even made Spock stay with him until they both got rescued. Supposedly, Keenser kept Spock with him because it was safer and warmer for an old man. But I think that Keenser didn't want to be by himself again, not after he learned what companionship could be."

"Aye, he does like to visit-- in his own way. They don't do much of that sort of thing on his home planet, I understand." He looked up at Kirk. "He's quite an innovator, in his own way. He's the first Roylan to enter Starfleet, you know."

"No, I didn't. But he has to be smart and skilled to be accepted by Starfleet."

"Aye. He loved it there, because he was being judged on his merits, not because of who he was." Scotty bit his lips together. "To us, he seems short. He's four feet tall or thereabouts. But on Royla, he was considered to be abnormally tall. He didn't look like everybody else, so he was ridiculed because of his extreme height. That's why he left his home planet. He had to."

Kirk thought of Spock and his sad story of being treated as a half-breed on Vulcan simply because his mother was an Earthling. He had sought a home in Starfleet for similar reasons. If anyone could understand Keenser's plight, Spock could. Hell, so could Kirk. He really hadn't been contended until he joined the Fleet. He had the notion that a lot of the Enterprise crewmembers felt the same way about themselves and their loyalty to their starship.

"I think that he's lucky he found you," Kirk said.

"I think we both are. I know I would've gone crazy without his company. Even if he does drive me to distraction."

"It was a good time for you, I can tell," Kirk agreed. "And it was also a bad time. But that time is over now. Now you're one of us. You’ve got a whole shipload of crew mates who are eager to be your friends. Keenser’s, too. They’re loyal and dependable and very trustworthy people.”

“I know they are good lads and lasses. I’ve learned that much about them in the short time I’ve known them,” Scotty had to admit.

“And they know that about you and Keenser. They’ll take you in and make you one of their own. You wouldn’t ever have to worry about belonging anywhere again. Let the Enterprise be your home. You'll find that we're trustworthy and reliable.”

“You sound like an ad for the faculty of a top-notch boarding school. Or the credentials for a dependable collie,” Scotty said. He tried to be light-hearted, but Kirk could hear the misery that was beginning to shade his voice. “I can’t explain it, Jim. I’d miss the little guy if he wasn’t around. And I don’t know what my absence would do to him.” He considered that for a moment. “Hopefully, he’d miss me, too.”

“You know he would. Hell, you’re the only one who can communicate with him.”

“He’s not big on talking, and that’s a fact,” Scotty decided with a fond smile.

“Tell me about it! But Bones is the one who really had trouble! He doesn’t get hit too often while doing a physical on somebody. I think he's gonna be okay once the slap marks disappear from his face. Right now, he looks like he's going on the war path or pledging some fraternity," Kirk smirked. "But he'll be okay. He just might be a little gun shy when it comes to checking a guy's prostate from now on, though.”

“Keenser doesn’t like to have strange hands running up between his legs and groping his bollacks. Besides, he didn't know it was gonna happen so sudden like. Dr. McCoy should have asked Keenser’s permission to do so, or at least indicated beforehand just what he intended to do. A man gets very protective of his assets and will not allow just anybody to touch him so intimately.”

Kirk leaned closer. “Does he mind it if you do that to him? You know, handle his balls?” he asked slyly with a knowing grin, then quickly amended what he’d said when he saw Scotty’s startled face. “Sorry. That was crude of me.”

Scotty's eyes were flaring. “I would hope to shout that was crude of you, lad! I thought you had more class than that! Talking like I feel up the wee lad like he's some sort of pet sheep dog of mine or something!”

“Sorry. I’m just a voyeur at heart. But I gotta admit, Scotty, I’m curious as hell about the little guy. And your relationship with him. So is everybody. So tell me, what’s your thing? You know, with each other?”

“What’s our… thing?” Scotty echoed with bulging eyes.

“Yeah. What turns you two on? Do you do each other, or do you both go solo?"

"Go solo?" Scotty echoed with eyes so startled they looked like they would pop out of his head. He could not believe what he was being asked. Where he came from, more than a guy's bullocks were private business.

Kirk shrugged. "You know, go solo. Do you rely on your good ol' buddy, your right hand? Or do you sometimes switch to the left. You know, if you want some variety or you enjoy the jerkiness of a hand that isn't as coordinated as your dominant one." He gave Scotty a placid smile. "There's a lot to be said for inaptitude at times like that. It's almost like having a virgin. Or rough sex."

"You sound like you're talking from experience. You know, with knowing the talents of your hands for jerking yourself off." Scotty's voice sounded hollow, even to himself. But he was still in shock from what Kirk was saying.

Kirk shrugged again. "Well, you know, not even the Casanova of the Cosmos can score all the time."

"I can hardly believe that about you!"

"That's why I confess to it so easily," Kirk said with a wink. "Nobody believes that I ever spend a night by myself. But sad to say, it does happen. And sometimes, I want to be by myself."

"That is difficult to believe, too."

"I know. That's when I resort to my friendly hands. At the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And our own hands."

"That is so sad. I did not know that you were that lonely."

Kirk wondered why he was confessing so much about himself when Spock and McCoy might not even know that much about him. "We all have our stories about our lives under the covers." By then, he had talked himself out of his mood and had gotten back on message. "Yes, we all have our stories. Even you and Keenser. And the rest of us are curious as hell about you two. There,” he said with a huff of air. “I said it. No beating around the bush. You two have got the crew placing all sorts of side bets around your relationship."

"Side bets?! The crew is curious about our personal lives?!"

"It's not that they're malicious. They don't give a hoot in hell what some stranger has going for him in the bedroom, just what's going on with their own. It's one way of accepting you. In a family, you gotta take the good with the bad. We're taking you on, but you guys have to take us on, too. Warts and all. Good with the bad. Nosy as hell, but supportive as hell, too."

"I guess it's been awhile since I've been around a proper family," Scotty said with awe and bugged-out eyes, but it felt like an understatement to him.

"Don't worry. You'll catch on. We'll give you time. Meanwhile, I haven’t seen this much interest about people’s sex lives since a bunch of pregnancy tests got mixed up in the lab. Whooee! I thought that the Enterprise was gonna turn into the marrying mecca of the universe! It got so I felt like commanding this ship was the side job I had while I was doing my real work of being a preacher. For awhile there, I felt like Marryin' Sam. This place was a regular Dogpatch, and the 'brides' all used this one veil that rotated among them. The going joke was that the veil was white, but nobody had the right to wear that color. Good times." Kirk smirked as he shook his head with the memory.

It seemed that once Kirk got started with his confession, he couldn’t stop himself. He had to add more and more details that he thought would interest Scotty. But all the while he was doing it, he could see Scotty’s face getting more stricken with disbelief.

“But that’s another story,” Kirk concluded. “We were talking about you and Keenser.”

“Correction, Captain!” Scotty snarled. “YOU were talking about Keenser and me!”

“And so I was,” Kirk said softly. He was suddenly understanding how insulting all of this was to the new crew mates. “I’m sorry, Scotty. We seem to have crossed a line that we shouldn’t have.”

“You’re damn right, you have! What the wee lad and I do in our quarters is our business and nobody else's!”

"You're right. And you're entitled to your privacy. But Keenser is another matter. He doesn't know what life can offer. And as his friend, you should be willing to let him get exposed to as much of it as possible. I know you want to keep him to yourself, but you might ask yourself what is best for him."

Scotty frowned in thought, then slowly nodded his head.


	3. Carrying Out Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scotty pushes Keenser into mixing with the crew by asking Sulu and Chekov to introduce him into crew activities. Then when Keenser removes his robe to go swimming, Scotty notices how greatly he must be endowed, and Scotty surprises himself by daydreaming about being at the mercy of that mighty organ.

So after their next shift and after some time to get ready, of course, Scotty and Keenser appeared at the edge of the Enterprise swimming pool and paused to get their bearings. Scotty wore his usual regulation red shirt and black slacks while Keenser was dressed in a terry robe as if he was going swimming. Neither acted as if they were all that thrilled about being where they were. And indeed, neither of them was.

It had been quite a discussion between them about the increase of their social lives now that the opportunities for such expansion were available. Well, it had been quite a discussion on Scotty's part, while Keenser's contribution was mostly some honks and squeaks and hands being tossed up in frustration. But he got his opinion across about what he thought of Scotty's suggestion.

Keenser was quite happy with the present situation of having his own quarters and sharing a bathroom with Scotty. It reminded him of their happy set-up on Delta Vega, except better. There were no man-eating monster lurking outside nor was the planet made up of ice. This ship was warm and safe, and he could go crazy and have multiple beans for lunch instead of one, if he wanted extra. Between working with Scotty in the engine room, eating with him in the mess hall, and living next door to him, Keenser was quite contented. This way, he knew where Scotty was most of the time and that he was safe. Keenser admired Scotty's intellect and skills, but knew how tormented the man was by demons that drove him to drink. Then Keenser cared for him and worried about his mental, as well as his physical, health. It made Keenser feel good and needed that he could do these things for his friend.

Keenser wasn't wanting a change in their present set-up, and he let Scotty know it even with his limited language skills. It was frustrating for Scotty because this hadn't been his idea, but he had to argue in favor of change for Keenser's good. So it was doubly frustrating when Keenser adamantly shook his head against everything that Scotty said.

But it was the eventual foul smells from Keenser that got the most adverse reactions from Scotty. It was Keenser's way of showing that he was not entirely happy with what Scotty was proposing for him.

When Keenser cut loose with the smells, it did not take Scotty long to notice the pungent aromas that had been added to the air supply in his room. Scotty wrinkled his face into one of utter disgust. "What the hell have ya been eating, you damn oyster?! Did you go for TWO whole beans this time when you ate and then did you get the bellyache you so richly deserved?! Stick to a little bit of dry toast and weak tea for awhile if you're gonna have reactions like that! And if you have any compassion in you at all for your fellow man, you will be careful with what you consume from now on! Your fragile innards must not be able to process just any old thing! And I emphasis the word 'old' here. Because by the way your farts smell, whatever you've been gnawing on has been dead for awhile," he complained, trying to wave the air clear of the aromatic scents.

At last, Keenser reluctantly relented to mixing more with the crew, but it was a grim twosome who marched up to that swimming pool that afternoon after their shift was completed. The little guy was certainly doing it under duress, and every line of his taut body screamed that fact Scotty held a firm hand on Keenser's shoulder as if he was steering an unruly child to a dreaded appointment, which Scotty almost was. The only criteria that separated Keenser from the unruly child was age.

The new arrivals watched for several moments as several of the Enterprise men cavorted and plunged about in the water as happy as dolphins at play. Crewmen were an earnest, professional, dedicated lot when they were on duty and guiding the flagship of the Federation Fleet through space. But when they were off-duty and letting off steam as they were now, they were the biggest kids on the playground. They swam laps, turned cartwheels, dunked each other, and generally acted as carefree as twelve-year-old boys at summer camp.

Then a couple of the guys from the Alpha bridge shift spotted the two watching them, hollered and waved at them, and quickly swam over to greet their visitors.

“Mr. Scott! Keenser!” Sulu greeted as he treaded water and wiped his handsome, smiling face free of moisture. Black hair still clung to his forehead and gave him a particularly jaunty look. He looked amazingly healthy and fit. “So nice to see you!”

“Aye!” Chekov agreed as he bobbed up and down beside him. His body seemed pasty-pale and weak in comparison to his colleague’s, but the two looked very natural together. That’s because they were lined up the way that they generally sat at work with navigator Chekov to pilot Sulu's right.

The pool’s chlorine had reddened Chekov’s eyes and had given them a weak appearance. His pale Nordic features looked sickly in the treated water in comparison to Sulu’s slightly thicker, yellowish skin. Chekov didn’t look as natural in the water as Sulu did, which belied his history of being quite a swimmer through his formative years. His aquatic skills had earned him places on several school swim teams, and a wall full of prestigious medals were still on display in his proud parents’ home.

“Are you gentlemen here to go swimming with us?” Sulu wanted to know with his welcoming smile still in place that showcased his white, perfect teeth to their best advantage.

“Keenser is. I ain’t,” Scotty answered grimly.

Keenser gave Sulu and Chekov an expression that implied that he wasn’t too thrilled by what was going on, either. In fact, he looked rather disgruntled. But that was difficult to determine for certain, because he generally didn’t seem too pleased by anything that was happening.

“That’s too bad, Mr. Scott,” Sulu said with another friendly smile flashing over his healthy face. “The more, the merrier is our motto here. You’d be just as welcome as Keenser is.”

“I got my work that needs to be seen to,” Scotty almost snarled with his eyes cast over the bobbing heads of Sulu and Chekov.

“What? Don’t you ever take a break?” Sulu teased.

Scotty glanced down at Sulu. “I will. In my own way.” 

“Don’t you have enough help in the Engine Room?” Sulu wanted to know. “Isn’t that one reason why Keenser is here? To help you?”

“He needs to learn other things. It will make him more versatile.," Scotty recited. "There’s a whole new world of social information and culture he can experience with the crew of the Enterprise. Then he won’t be so backward when we visit other planets. After all, we all have to be ambassadors, even the near mute.” 

Scotty ignored Keenser’s sharp look. The little guy didn’t look too happy about what was being said about his naivete and then his silence, but Scotty had to admit that it was the truth even if he hadn’t come up with it himself. 

“That’s wonderful that you are that interested in his assimilation into worlds he knows nothing about,” Sulu remarked, impressed. “You must really be a good friend if you want to sponsor Keenser like this.”

“Well, it’s just something that needs to be done,” Scotty mumbled, full well knowing that he was receiving praise that he didn’t deserve. “His life experience has been too narrow, despite attending Starfleet Academy in the States. He’s probably forgotten most of what he learned outside the classroom.”

He received another dirty look from Keenser. Luckily, the little guy didn’t hold grudges, but he should because Scotty was slanting the truth to suit himself. Luckily, too, Keenser was a man of few words and most of them were understood by only Scotty.

Scotty’s conscience must have been bothering, because at that point, he voiced what had been Kirk’s main concern. “This lad just needs to mix more. And he and I have to learn to be less dependent on each other. It isn't good for either one of us, apparently,” he said with downcast head. Then, as if he had said too much on that topic, he quickly changed the subject. “Besides, he needs to make friends with others. That’s why I thought that you two gentlemen wouldn’t mind taking him under your wing and showing him some of the activities that the crew has available when they aren’t on duty. You might even share some of your hobbies with him.”

“Well, sure, glad to do that,” Sulu agreed. “Maybe Keenser might like to help me with the arboretum. He’s probably never seen that much green foliage together in one spot before. Except on Terran, of course. An arboretum is mainly trees. Or strictly speaking, it’s a botanical garden with woody plants. It’s our closest thing on board ship to being a park, but I think that it’s as essential to the human spirit as religious studies. We all need places where our imaginations can soar and we can commune with trees,” Sulu declared, waxing poetic about one of his favorite topics. “Trees can take us out of ourselves, and we are rejuvenated by the experience.” Sulu’s dark eyes were shining. It was quite evident how passionate he was on the subject.

Scotty could relate. He felt that way about the engines of the Enterprise. But this was not the place to get all romantic about a person’s interests. Scotty had heard something in what Sulu had said that had sent up a red flag, and Scotty knew that he had to address the situation before they went any further.

Scotty pinched his lips together so that Sulu and Chekov realized just how serious this was that he was going to say. “Just don’t let him climb the trees.”

Sulu and Chekov didn’t look as impressed as they did puzzled. They were probably trying to imagine four foot tall Keenser climbing a fifty foot tall pin oak. It would probably be the same as one of them climbing a four-story building.

Scotty had to make them understand. “He’s got a tendency to do that, and it can scare the living hell right outa you.”

“I can imagine,” Sulu said, finally impressed.

“Aye,” Chekov echoed.

“You have to watch him,” Scotty continued. “You never know when the little shite is gonna go scurrying for higher ground, so be forewarned. He can take off when least expected to. It can drive a man to drink, and that’s a fact.”

Keenser gave Scotty a scathing, condescending look. If he wanted, he would remind Scotty that he did a lot of his climbing on Delta Vega when Scotty went berserk, either from frustration or drinking. Keenser didn’t cause Scotty to drink, his demons did. And when they did, Keenser was thrown off-balance because he did not know what to expect from Scotty.

That was the only thing that Keenser feared: an unstable Scotty. He liked being around his human. He liked it when his human was calm and agreeable. And knowing how erratic and sentimental that Scotty could get, who could blame the wee lad?

“Well, he could also help with the flowers and plants that I cultivate in the greenhouse,” Sulu offered with enthusiasm. “Those plants aren’t as tall as the trees in the arboretum, so there would be less danger of his getting hurt. Besides, I think Keenser would enjoy watching plants germinate and grow. The miracle of life is awesome to observe, especially since plants can go through a maturing cycle so much faster than the higher animals can. Or bigger plants, such as trees.” He grinned, feeling that he had made an excellent point in favor of the greenhouse.

Chekov suddenly looked like the proverbial light bulb had gone off in his mind. “Oh, I just thought of someting! Mr. Keenser might like to sample the tole painting that several of us are doing! It is very relaxing, and gives us the opportunity to express our artistic sides,” he concluded with satisfaction.

Keenser turned his head sideways as if he did not understand what a “tole” was.

Chekov’s face cleared as if he knew what the problem was. “It is a type of folk art that is painted on tin or wooden objects around the house. It began in Europe where peasants sought to bring beauty into their homes by decorating plain objects around them. But it is reminiscent of my homeland, Mother Russia, so I feel a little touch of nostalgia whenever I am creating a new design and applying it. Whenever I wisit bazaars on planets, I am always searching for items I can use in my artwork. I learn so much about the culture and meet new people that way.”

“Well, that sounds just like something that Keenser should try,” Scotty agreed with forced enthusiasm, although Keenser didn’t look so certain.

“Other crew members have interesting hobbies, too,” Chekov continued. “Lt. Uhura sews doll clothing. She knits, too, as do a lot of the other women and some of the men. It was someting that submariners could do on long dives, so it just naturally made its way onto starships where it has found a happy home,” Chekov summed up, happy with himself for making that excellent point. Then he went and almost spoiled it. “You would be most welcome, too, Mr. Scott.”

Scotty stirred himself. “Well, I’ll keep that option open.” He figured the last place he should be was wherever Keenser was trying to make new inroads. Otherwise, wouldn’t it be defeating the whole purpose of pushing Keenser out on his own?

“You could start anytime,” Chekov invited. “Today, even,” he offered grandly.

“As a matter of fact, I have an engagement for today,” Scotty explained.

He saw the suspicious look from Keenser and knew that Keenser had realized that Scotty had known about his appointment all along.

His voice had softened slightly, but not by much. “Dr. McCoy and Captain Kirk have invited me in for a wee nip of the brew and some poker playing as soon as I can join them. In fact, I’m headed that way now. I just wanted to get Keenser set up with you guys.”

Keenser had betrayal written all over his face. He shucked the robe off his shoulders and looked determined. If Scotty did not want to be around him, he could accommodate.

Scotty had never seen his little buddy wearing so few clothes. Ridges were all over his body. Must be a bitch to keep clean, Scotty thought. And those bright red swimming trunks really set off Keenser’s pewter gray skin, but did little to hide the massive organ that was sheathed inside the skimpy trunks. He must be built like a bull or a mastiff dog! It’s a wonder it didn’t bruise his knees when it was swinging free! And however did he keep from tipping forward when he walked?! Must be something to be endowed like that!

Scotty licked his lips.

Must be something to be on the receiving end of that thing, too! It would probably hurt like hell!

Scotty licked his lips again as he felt his eyes begin to dry.

Hurt, or set a man on fire. Especially if that organ was covered with ridges the way the rest of the body was. And the width it had to be.... It would probably ripple all along the rectum as it crowded its way inside and surged ahead. And it might cause all sorts of ripples throughout the body, ripples that it would be difficult to stay ahead of until a man would just have to give in to the pleasure and the pain and let it all wash over him. Until he was so lost in the passion that he might even forget how to breathe. And that would be okay, too, because his world would be completely filled with feeling and lust and cravings completely sated....

And it would all be so heavenly because the pleasure and the pain would be coming from this wonderful little creature who meant so much to Scotty.

Sweat popped out on Scotty's forehead as he felt himself beginning to harden. If this kept up, he would have to do research on which hand was a good buddy in an emergency.

Someone coughed, and Scotty blinked himself back to the present.

Scotty realized that he was staring at his little friend and that Keenser was watching him. 

“Be sure to do what the lads tell you,” Scotty muttered, as he drew himself up. “Don’t be a trouble maker.” He glanced at Sulu and Chekov. “He loves the water. But he can zoom through it like an oyster filtering sea water looking for food, so don’t be startled if he pulls that on you. In fact, there’s times I think he is half-oyster. I really believe that there must have been some sort of bivalve mollusk on his family tree somewhere along the line. He can’t look so much like a damn oyster without being one!” Scotty realized that he was yelling, so he shut up dramatically.

It had gotten deadly quiet in the gym. All of the other swimmers had stopped their play, too, with Scotty’s final declarations.

“Well, just, ah, just have fun,” he said half-heartedly to Keenser as he raised his arm and then let it fall again to his side with a loud plop. 

“See you back at the room later.” Then Scotty wished he hadn’t said anything that sounded so intimate.

Keenser simply stared at him as if nothing Scotty said or did would surprise him anymore. Or would mean anything to him, either.

That stare hurt Scotty more that he thought that anything ever would. It was still burning in him when he reached the door. He heard a splash and saw Keenser in the water with Sulu and Chekov.

Keenser never even looked back.


	4. The Drunken Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At a drunken party with friends, Scotty rants about Keenser's active social life, but it's Uhura's unmanly use of Keenser that really has Scotty upset. And just when he was starting to like the wee lass, too! Meanwhile, Kirk bellyaches about his impotency around the unpredictable Uhura who flirts with him in a crowd, but is businesslike and almost curt when they are alone.

“So I says, says I, ‘What the hell is going in here, woman?!’" Spittle flew from his mouth and Scotty wiped it away, but the others with him didn't notice. They were too busy concentrating on what they were trying to do with their own drinks in their unsteady hands. Scotty continued, "'I want some answers fast,' I demanded, and she just blinked those lovely dark eyelashes at me like she didn't have a clue what I was talking about! And meanwhile there's himself standing there just as big as who done it and looking like a fecking eejit in, in a dress! A dress, mind you!" His eyes flashed in righteous indignation.

Scotty was ranting as only a drunken man with a piece of straw stuck in his craw can. But that was okay, because his fellow drinking buddies, Kirk and McCoy, weren't really listening to him anyway. They were just being sociable and were waiting their turns to put in their own gripes or brilliant deductions as they saw fit. No one is quite as brilliant or astute to themselves as when they have been drinking. And then, as Montgomery Scott would say, they think of themselves as fecking geniuses!

The only one in the room who wasn't drinking or griping was Mr. Spock, and he was keeping a close eye on the other three. He made a good and patient shepherd, although sometimes he was not appreciated for what he was worth to his friends. Other times he was, he thought with satisfaction as he glanced at McCoy.

But Scotty was continuing his tirade. "So I said to her, 'What the hell is he supposed to be, dressed up like some damn woman?!" He glanced at Kirk and drew his eyebrows down as he tried to concentrate on his carefree-looking captain. "And your communications officer Miss Lovely Thing-- that same woman, mind you, James T. Fecking Kirk, that same woman who wouldn’t let butter melt in her mouth ‘cause she’s got the lot of us men by the short and curlies-- that woman said that Keenser was being kind enough to model an outfit that she was making up for her niece's teddy bear! A teddy bear! And there’s that proud Roylan standing there in this get-up that looks like a shroud for a fecking dead corpse! And I ask you, is that a fit thing for a grown man to be doin', even if he's only four feet tall and the exact same size as some brat's fecking teddy bear?!"

As Kirk reared back his head as if he was properly shocked, McCoy merely smiled at his glass of scotch as if he'd never noticed the rich amber color of it before. McCoy was in a happy mood and was in love with the whole world because Spock was in it with him. Meanwhile, Spock was watching McCoy as if he was trying to calculate how incapacitating his hangover would be and how disturbed both of their nights would be.

Scotty continued. "I swear, it ain't natural. If his new friends don't have him swimming until he's shriveled up like a fecking prune, they've got him painting tiny flowers on a piece of rusty tin and calling it art! But this latest thing! This wearin' dresses! It ain't natural, I say! It ain't natural!" He paused to take a swig of his drink. "So I said to her, I said, ‘Lt. Uhura, what the hell is that supposed to be on our wee man?’ And she answers, real proud like, like she'd created the light that comes down from the moon itself, mind you, that Keenser was wearing ‘A silvery mauve plush dress so that the bear will have something stylish for evening wear!’ And there’s himself looking like he is proud as punch to be her fecking dressmaker’s dummy!” Scotty shook his head sadly. “I don’t know what the world’s coming to when men are pleased as piss to be dressing up in a silvery mauve plush dress for evening wear, when the color’s all wrong for him! Hell, the wearin’ of a dress is a fecking shame, and that’s a fecking fact!” He took another hearty slug of his drink and smacked his lips in appreciate. Then he seemed to remember what he'd been talking about. "I don't understand how she could do that to him. And I was starting to think a lot about the wee lass, like she was a lovely person and all, inside as well as out. She's understanding and always willing to give a wee listen if a man has something troubling him on his mind. And then she goes and pulls this!"

"She's still a lovely person, Scotty," McCoy reminded him.

"Aye, she is that," Scotty agreed. "If only she would stop dressing our wee man in doll's clothes!" His rant was back. "It ain't right, I tell you! I ain't right!"

“Mr. Scott is royally pissed off,” Jim Kirk drunkenly informed Dr. McCoy as he turned and leaned toward him.

“I got that,” McCoy slurred back. “And it sounds like he’s got a good reason to be. Crossdressing, no less!”

"Yep, he sure as hell does," Kirk agreed. "Mr. Spock! What do you think of Keenser being a dressmaker's dummy for Lt. Uhura?!"

"I am quite certain that I have no opinion one way or the other on such a question, Captain," Spock answered as if he was thoroughly bored with the topic-- which he probably was.

That answer stirred McCoy's ire, and his eyes flashed. "Oh, come on now! Surely even you can tell that silvery mauve is all wrong for that walking doorstop to wear! He's pewter gray already! He should wear something brighter, like French fuchsia or true red! True red would be a dream on him!"

"It is, and that's a fact," Scotty muttered, remembering Keenser in his swimming trunks. "True red does look good on him." Of course, it might have been the garment itself and the way that it fit him that had struck Scotty's fancy that day and not just the color of it.

“The wee lass needs more to do!” Scotty decided.

“The wee lass is just trying to do something nice for her niece,” Kirk muttered without really realizing he had spoken. “She doesn’t get to see the little girl too often, so this is one way for her to be special to the niece.”

“Oh, you’re a defender of her now, are ye?!” Scotty snapped with flashing, yet hurt eyes. He was distraught, but not really upset with Uhura or Kirk. He just wanted his old relationship back with Keenser, and he was beginning to get further afield with his accusations while making the barbs as pointed as he could. Scotty thought it might make him feel better. It didn’t. He just felt more frustrated with the situation. He didn’t want to fight with Kirk; he just wanted to be important enough to Kirk for Kirk to be concerned.

Of course, Kirk was concerned. He knew what a caring person Scotty really was and tried to remind himself of that fact as he studied Scotty. “Uhura is a good person, Scotty, and an efficient member of the Enterprise team. And before you say it, I’d defend you, too, and for the very same reasons. You’re both part of the family, and I’ll stick up for both of you.”

“Even when she treats you the way she does?” Scotty asked softly.

But Scotty might as well have shouted it in open court before the whole universe, because Kirk could not have felt the sting of the words any less. His eyelids fluttered and his face got a hurt look on it.

“I don’t know why she treats me the way she does.” Kirk flinched and decided that he didn’t need to lie to these guys or to himself at the moment. When you’re getting seriously drunk with a few guys that would take a bullet for you or taking a group piss with them in a shadowy bathroom and trying not to pee down the other guy’s leg, you get kind of tight with each other. And you want to be honest with them, because you know that these guys are the only ones you’ve really got. 

“Yes, I do,” Kirk corrected himself with a frown as he searched within himself. “I know exactly why she treats me the way she does, and it’s always been my problem. Right from the first, all she’s seen of me is a brash, smart-alecky brat who didn’t deserve to sweep out the Enterprise, let alone serve on her.” He smirked. “Let alone COMMAND her. Then I started having some success, and it seemed like I was having good luck rather than showing sound judgment and leadership qualities.” He smirked again. “Hell, that was Spock’s problem with me, too. To both of them, I hadn’t paid my dues. I didn’t respect the job or my own ability. They’d fought their way up to what they had, and I came along and seemed to make a mockery of someone who’d done it the hard way. Everything I touched seemed to turn into a golden opportunity for me. But I had to learn humility and feel anguish for my crew before I could be a good captain. I had to learn how to lose before I could appreciate what it was to win. I had to know what it felt to be utterly humiliated before I could be worth anything to anybody else.” He turned and looked at his First Officer. “Isn’t that right, Spock?”

“It is true that you did not give me much to respect when I first met you and that you had to know what it was to fall down before you could understand what it meant to get up again,” Spock agreed. “And for the reasons you stated.”

Kirk flinched. “Ask for the truth, and I get it. He doesn’t mince any words when he gives it to you.”

Spock shrugged as he stood with his hands behind his back. “I can do nothing less, Captain. Or nothing more,” he stated and did not seem to mind that Kirk was speaking of him in the third person.

“That’s what I love about him,” Kirk mumbled. “He gets so mushy and goes overboard with his praise. I have to fight him off with a stick, or else he wouldn’t leave me alone. He gets all touchy-feely.”

Spock lifted an eyebrow and realized that Kirk was in one of his self-destructive moods. What he was feeling was the direct opposite of what he was saying. Kirk was discontented with himself because he felt inadequate about something, and Spock figured that it concerned his relationship with Uhura.

Scotty looked bewildered. “This Spock?” he wanted to know. “This guy gets all touchy-feely? When does that ever happen? I haven’t seen him so much as relax his shoulders enough to slump, let alone touch someone to give them both reassurances of his fondness for the other person. He must be a master of subtly to do that so smoothly.”

“Mr. Scott,” Spock addressed him formally. “Captain Kirk was being facetious with you. He does that occasionally when he has been drinking. He gets bitter and relies on sarcasm in order to present his viewpoint.”

“Oh. Well, he does it magnificently.”

“Yeah, and Mr. Spock can pick the damnedest times to understand all sorts of things, from subtly to idioms,” Kirk explained with a tight smile. 

Scotty stared at the two and tried to figure out the love/hate relationship between the two.

“I could’ve warned you about that trait of his,” McCoy said, suddenly speaking up after being silent for a long time. “But, oh, no, does anybody ever listen to me? No, it’s Mr. Spock this and Mr. Spock that, until I’m certain he’s won all of the awards at the Sunday School Fair and nobody else has had a chance at getting any of them.”

Scotty stared at them. “Do any of you even LIKE each other?!” he wanted to know.

“I trust these two with my life,” Kirk answered with a lazy smile that did not betray the intense emotion that he was feeling. “And they feel the same way about me.” He scooted upright in his chair and seemed almost sober for a moment. “And you’re included in the deal now, too. So is Uhura. Sulu and Chekov, too, but they're both too damn sweet to ever hate.”

“Love/hate,” Scotty muttered. “Can’t stand each other, can’t do without each other.”

“You got it,” Kirk agreed with a tight-lipped grin as he studied his drink. “Hope you’re aboard with all of that.”

“This is the best ship I have ever served on, and that’s a fact,” Scotty answered. “Sir.”

Kirk waved him away. “We’ve off duty now.”

“You know Mr. Spock--” He glanced at Spock. “--the other Mr. Spock, I mean. The one from the future.”

Kirk shot the current Mr. Spock a challenging look. “Yeah, I know the guy. Claimed we were buds, and everything when we met. Acted pleased as hell to see me. That all came as quite a shock, I can tell you, especially after the way his counter-part had always treated me.”

Spock sighed and actually rolled his eyes. “You said it yourself just a moment ago, Jim. You had not given me as much to like and to admire as your counter-part did. Then Nero created the alternate reality when he disturbed the continuum of time when he performed time travel, and a whole new cast of characters and relationships appeared with the same names as in the prime or original universe.” 

“It’s a good thing we are friends now,” Kirk said with a mellow smile. "Because there were times that he's been a royal pain in the posterior."

“Yes, it is. Jim,” Spock answered with a similar mellow smile. Then he arched an eyebrow ever so slightly upward. "And for the same reason."

A soft look passed between them because, despite everything, they had found the pluses for a relationship between them had far outweighed the minuses of such a relationship. Each of their lives were richer for knowing the other one, also.

“It’s that change-up of characters and their relationships with each other that I want to talk about,” Scotty insisted before Kirk and Spock got lost in the eyes of the other one.

“What about it, Scotty?” Kirk asked, consciously drawing his attention away from Spock.

“There’s times I feel a kinship with Lt. Uhura,” Scotty explained, diving right in. “I feel a familiarity with her, and all I can think is that it is something left over from the other time line. Do you think that could be possible at all?”

Kirk studied him. Scotty seemed hopeful that he and Uhura had been very important to each other at some point in the universe, but a part of him seemed reluctant, too.

“What do you think?” Kirk asked softly. “Is that something you’d like to be real?”

“I don’t know. You see, Jim, in that reality, there was no Keenser. And I do not know if I would like any existence without him in it.”

“Maybe he did exist, but somewhere else,” Kirk said reasonably. 

“Aye,” Scotty agreed with rolling eyes. “And I do not know if I care for that possibility, either. I would want him somewhere in my reality.”

“You have an awful lot of qualifications,” Kirk observed.

“Aye. I tend to hang on tightly to my own.”

“Keenser is your own?”

“He was, or so I thought, while we were on Delta Vega.”

“You made commitments to each other?”

“In not so many words.”

“Then there’s nothing binding, for either of you,” Jim Kirk summed up, guessing the truth.

“The wee lad does not talk!”

“Come on, Scotty, you can pretty well understand what he’s driving at most of the time with his grunts and squeaks.”

“And his scathing looks, don’t be forgetting them. He is a champion of delivering them. And don't ever really upset him! You'll swear he's been eating something that's been dead for a week and has stirred up all of the bacteria in his intestinal system for a bang-up show for a finale! I swear the lad could clear a football stadium if he had a mind to and enough gas in him!”

Kirk tried to skirt that conversational cloud-cover and get back on topic. “Scotty, look, I know this situation with Keenser expanding his horizons is all a little trying for you. But you have to let him try his wings, or else you’ll lose him forever.”

Scotty bit his lips together.

To ease the tension in the room, McCoy said to Spock, “Did you understand all of that, Vulcan, or are you picturing Keenser with leather-like additions that extend beneath his underarms to the sides of his body? And are you picturing him spreading those leathery wings and flying off into the sunset, like some sort of bat looking for his evening meal?”

Spock gave McCoy a look that said he knew when he was being mocked. “I know that Roylans do not have the ability to fly unaided.”

“You’re no fun,” McCoy muttered and went back to his drink to wonder why Spock could understand Kirk's idioms, but not his.

“There is something else that I want to say about the alternate reality and the relationships of our counter-parts in that reality,” Scotty insisted as he tried to return the conversation back to the topic he wanted to discuss.

“What is that, Scotty?” Kirk asked with a smirk. “Do you want to tell us about the cozy marriage that you shared with Uhura and what great friends you were?”

“I would. But I would also like to discuss the fact that you and she might have been great friends, too, with a lot of respect for each other. You might have had a wonderful professional relationship together.”

“Now you’re losing track of all sorts of reality,” Kirk said with a scowl as he absently shook the small amount of alcohol in the bottom of his glass. “That little gal hates me on an cellular level. Her contempt for me has no bounds.”

“You need to get it straightened out with her,” Scotty proposed. "For karmic reasons, if nothing else. You don't wanna go through all of this again."

“I’m not the one with the attitude,” Kirk mumbled back.

“Then you need to change her mind about her opinion of you.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible,” Kirk mumbled.

“It is, if she means anything to you,” Scotty said softly.

Kirk’s eyes snapped to Scotty’s face, and Scotty knew that Kirk had accepted his challenge. Uhura apparently meant something to him, after all.


	5. The Away Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk and Spock discuss the advisability of an away mission with only Kirk and Uhura on it. But Uhura gets suspicious the closer that she and Kirk get to their destination. Something is not right.

“I do not know if I am totally comfortable with the circumstances behind this away mission, Captain," Spock said gravely in his best ominous voice as he stood in Kirk's quarters.

"Well, that makes two of us, Spock," Kirk said as he shot his First Officer his best tight-lipped grin that had no humor behind it, then proceeded to absently pull clothing, documents, and toilet articles out of drawers so that they would not be forgotten. "But it sure as hell beats the monotony of the escort mission we've just been on now, doesn't it?"

But Kirk's anxiety was seeping through, and Spock was picking up on it. "Do you wish for me to come with you, Captain?” Spock inquired as he watched Kirk packing his attache case.

“The invitation said for the ship’s captain and linguist,” Kirk answered as he looked up at Spock with an open face that clearly said that he didn't understand the request, either. He closed the case with a resounding snap. “So I guess that means Uhura and me. And everybody else has to stay home.”

“I would feel better if I was accompanying you. And a detachment of guards, also.”

“I’d like to have all of you with us, too, plus Dr. McCoy, in case one of us, you know, stubs a toe or something else like that and might need a little bit of help.”

Spock was immediately alert. Something was definitely wrong. “You are worried, Jim. I can tell.”

“Of course, I'm worried. I’m heading down into a new civilization with nobody but a woman with me. Uhura is very capable and skilled and fearless, but she is still a woman. I hope I'm not sounding too chauvinist when I say that, either, but I'm pretty certain that she's not sporting a dingly-dangly underneath that short skirt of hers.”

"A fact that I can readily substantiate," Spock noted.

"For once I wish you were wrong and she was the burliest S.O.B. on the ship. Then I wouldn't be so afraid of her getting hurt."

Then Spock understood the problem. “You will be protecting her first and then yourself.” His frown deepened. "If need be, you will sacrifice your life for hers."

"In a heartbeat."

Spock did not know why he was arguing. He would protect a woman at all costs, too. But it was also his job as First Officer to present his captain with unpopular sides of any proposal. "Self-preservation is strong in all of us."

"So is chivalry. We protect women."

"That hardly seems logical when they can shoot a man dead as easily as another man can. Women are not that frail or defenseless. They do not always need our help."

“Yeah, well, that is how I’m hardwired. Most guys are. I don’t care if she’s Wonder Woman and I’m ninety years old and haven't chewed my own food in years. I would still be concerned about her welfare over my own. And I'll be doubly concerned since Uhura is a beautiful, desirable woman who is certain to fire up the libido of almost anything male in the universe. Any guy would have to be blind and a eunuch not to be dreaming about the possibilities hidden under that swinging skirt, and the males on that planet are probably not exceptions to the rule. All they might be interested in is if she can say 'yes' in their language.”

The shadow of a smile flicked over Spock’s craggy face. “Generally, you would be giving those criteria to yourself and someone of the fairer sex about the possibility of a sexual liaison between the two of you.”

Kirk visibly relaxed. “Are you saying that if I spot a desirable woman, my first instinct is to see if I can bed her?"

Spock looked wise. "Something of that nature."

"Thanks. I needed a little bit of humor to ground me. So, what are you gonna be doing while I’m gone? Besides, you know, commanding the Enterprise and keeping the universe safe from all kinds of space ruffians? You know, little stuff like that.”

Spock looked pleased that he had been asked. “There is a night of chamber music planned.”

“Oh?” Kirk said, somewhat happy that he would be missing that gala occasion. His musical tastes ran somewhere between Texas Swing and anything with a jungle beat to it. Or anything which allowed him to get his arms around a pretty girl (or handsome guy, whichever was available and looked promising). He figured that chamber music wouldn’t provide those types of opportunities. Mostly, with chamber music, you sat as quietly as you could while looking thoughtful and trying not to yawn. Nope, not his gig at all.

“Yes, and we have a new member in our group,” Spock reported. “Keenser is playing the pan flute.”

“The pan flute?” Kirk tried to picture Keenser so engaged. Would he look like a garden gnome who had come to life and strolled into the parlor to join the party as a lark? “Somehow I can’t quite imagine Keenser doing that. Won't he look like some sort of sprite that's escaped from a setting in Ancient Greece? Perhaps a different instrument will make him seem more down to Earth.”

Spock nearly chuckled (if he would’ve been capable of chuckling, that is). “Keenser could hardly be expected to play a large instrument such as a bass viol. He could take the strings out and use the instrument as a home. But playing it? Hardly. It would engulf him.”

“Yes. I see what you mean. Well, I’m off. Don’t break the Enterprise while I’m gone,” Kirk directed as he hustled toward the door of his quarters.

“I will try not to, Captain,” Spock answered, trailing after him.

“And try to keep Dr. McCoy under control, too, and grounded. You know how... intense he can get.”

“Now you are asking for something quite unrealistic.”

Kirk grinned fondly. “Bones would say that it was a mighty tall order.”

Spock’s eyes twinkled. “Yes, he would.” Then he remembered. “He may be busy with a project of his own.”

“Oh?” Kirk prompted as they stepped into the turbo lift.

“He has learned that Keenser’s mucus can melt metal and wants to run some experiments on it.”

"Just don't melt the outer skin of this space buggy. How did McCoy learn of it anyway?"

"Keenser sneezed on a monitor in the engine room. It looks like it got hit by buckshot. At least that is what Mr. Scott was screaming at him when I saw the damage."

"So his snot is not only hot, but lethal. Don't stand close to him if he gets a cold. I expect Scotty would notice if anything hurt something that he considers precious in the engine room." The turbo lift opened at the flight dock where a shuttle and Uhura stood waiting. "Well, I'll see you, Spock," Kirk said as if he wasn't too thrilled with parting company with him. "Good luck."

"Captain, I believe that you will be the one needing all of the luck."

Kirk nodded curtly, then marched off like he was meeting a hangman. Knowing Uhura, the hangman might be preferable.

"It looks like this planet has a lot of vegetation on it," Uhura remarked as their shuttle sped them closer and closer toward the large green planet looming before them.

"That indicates a plentiful supply of water so that life can sustain itself," Kirk remarked. It had been a relatively quiet flight so far. "And the oxygen levels in the atmosphere make the air breathable. All in all, we should be able to get along just fine here. Spock would have loved to have been able to study the plants and animals. He'd probably think that this was a virtual Garden of Eden."

"So, who are these natives that we're meeting?" Uhura asked. "It was really odd that they asked for just you and me."

"Lappricons," Kirk answered absently as he glanced at the instrument panel to make certain that everything was humming along the way it should.

"Lappricons?" Uhura echoed as she stared at him, and that should've been his first clue that there was trouble afoot. "Like the little, mischief making elves? Those Lappricons?"

"Huh?" he asked, feeling as brilliant as he sounded. He really hadn't been paying that much attention. But there was something hauntingly familiar in what she was asking, and he realized that he might have missed the obvious.

"Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow people?" she continued while angry tears began to burn in her eyes. "Pulling pranks on you if you're not careful? Famous from Irish folklore? Those guys?" She gave him a penetrating look. "Are you sure the guy didn't say that they are 'Leprechauns?'"

Kirk gave her his full attention. "I swear the guy said Lappricons. And I don't know anything else about them. If they're descended from The Little People, he didn't mention it."

"I swear, if you're making this all up--"

Hearing it from her perspective, he could see how she would be skeptical.

He opened his mouth to deny everything, but he knew that too many denials would make him seem guilty. So without saying a word, he already looked like he'd been caught in a lie. And this was one time that he was perfectly innocent!

Uhura's eyes snapped. "If you are doing this to get me alone on some romantic getaway just so you can get me into bed--"

Kirk was stunned. "What?!"

"What else can I believe?!" she demanded. "Lappricons! The idea! How naive do you think I am?!"

"And I swear, Lieutenant, that is what the guy told me." He studied her doubtful face. "Okay? You just gotta trust me on this one. I don't have any other proof."

"And you expect me to take your word for what my senses tell me is something awfully fishy?"

He looked at her levelly. "Yes."

She stirred. "Alright. I will."

"Thanks." He went back to his flying, but he could tell it was an uneasy peace.

"Don't thank me just yet," she cautioned. "Just remember that there is a knee in the groin waiting for you if you try anything funny, so be forewarned. My aim is deadly, and I'll change your mind from ass to grass in no time flat. You'll be out of circulation for awhile, but you'll be getting just what you deserve if you're trying to compromise me."

Kirk was disappointed. "You really think I'm that much of a jerk? Or that desperate? If a girl isn't interested, I'm not about to kidnap her and have my way with her. I have my reputation to think about."

"Your reputation as a red-hot lover or that of a Starfleet captain?"

"Huh?" And that was just when he had his fill of her silliness. "I don't know how shallow you think I am. I do have my principles. I like to think that I am at least ethical."

"I know you're supposed to be ethical. I've heard it's supposed to balance with Spock's logic and Dr. McCoy's emotionalism so that the Triumvirate will be mighty and awesome in the face of adversity."

"Now you're mocking us."

"What I have seen of you is someone who doesn't deserve his reputation as a Starfleet captain. Yes, you've done some great things in a short amount of time. But it wasn't just you who got things done. You had a lot of good people backing you up."

"I know that. And I've given them credit."

"But you still reaped the benefits of all of the glory. And a lot of what you accomplished was luck." Then, when Kirk thought she was going for the death blow, she suddenly changed tactics and starting praising him. "But the things you did!" she declared and was caught up in the excitement once again. "It was wonderful and glorious and breathtaking to be where you were! I wanted to follow a man who could lead me into so much fun and adventure." Then she lost her fervor just like that. "If you just weren't such an uncaring asshole to go with it, it would all be so perfect. But you don't respect the Fleet, no matter what you may have been telling yourself about your reasons to be here. And that is a waste of what you could be."

Her words weren't what was impressing him so much as the tears that had begun to stand in her eyes. Whatever she was saying was being wrenched not only from her heart, but from her soul. It involved all that she believed in and strived for, and it accounted for how she measured herself as a human being. For she was unconsciously using him as a yardstick to judge herself.

And at last he understood what her problem with him was. She wanted to believe in him! And learning that fact nearly floored him. She was being honest with him by being so open, and what he was hearing from her was astounding him. She was saying that so far he had been disappointing her, because HE hadn't been living up to HIS full potential! She wanted someone she could respect, and she wanted to feel proud of her loyalty to him. But he wasn't giving her what she was needing in the form of leadership or role model.

Kirk couldn't think straight. He needed time to figure this all out. He needed to understand his feelings on what she was saying. But there was no time. The mission was coming up, and he must think of that now or risk a diplomatic faux pas. The landing was coming up, and he needed to land the shuttle safely instead of letting it crash. There were so many things that needed to be dealt with before he could address her charges. But that was all he wanted to think about.

But there just wasn't time. Not now.

"We can't be having this discussion now, Lieutenant. Our landing site is coming into view. We must think of other things."

"I didn't ever want to have this discussion with you. It just happened without my intending for it to," she whispered hotly, then felt remorse for what she had told him. "Forget I said anything. I don't have the right to judge you as a person or as an officer. Just, just forget it!"

"I can't do that," he said softly. "Your opinion of me matters. And you do have the right." He looked at her solemnly. "We are colleagues. And I want to be your friend. As in friend friend. Yeah, you're beautiful and desirable and I wouldn't mind taking a hot roll in the hay with you. I'd be stupid to say otherwise. But we're more than just that to each other. We're something special. We can be something special," he said softly as he took another quick glance to see how she was accepting what he was saying. "We could be almost like brother and sister. I think I'd like that." He didn't know where that had come from, but he knew it was what he was really feeling for her.

Her breath caught and fresh tears popped into her dark eyes. Apparently, that was the type of relationship she wanted with him, too. She wanted a big brother, but a big brother she could respect.

"Nyota, I'm sorry I've disappointed you. I'll try to do better. I'm just learning. But I need your help." And he knew he meant all of that, too. He was used to bullshitting people, but he was being as honest with her as he could be in that moment. And apparently she realized it.

"You've got it," she whispered hotly back because she didn't dare raise her voice any higher than that. "You just let me know how I can help, and you've got my backing."

Kirk broke into his best boyish grin that wasn't just sexy, but happy. "Gee, that makes me feel good."

She angrily swatted at her foolish tears as she tried to smile. His brashness and overbearing ways she understood and could deal with. But his humbleness and sincerity were something she didn't know how to handle. And then he threw in his boyish charm, like he had now. What was a girl to do?

"You better land this thing before you crash it," she muttered. "I'm sure that would not be the best impression to make on our hosts at the start of this diplomatic mission."

"Are you always gonna nag me about stuff?" he teased as he handled the controls and guided the shuttle toward the waiting landing site.

"Maybe," she teased back and felt the flush of warmth that he'd intended. Already they were falling into a new rhythm between them.

A few minutes later Kirk and Uhura stepped out of the shuttle and looked at the lush green world around them. This would, indeed, be a place that could more than support life.

At that moment the shrubbery immediately in front of them parted, and several beings appeared and started walking toward them. There were several males barely three feet tall. And as they approached, it could be seen that they had a definite green cast to their faces.

"But not Vulcan," Kirk noted. "Spock would make two of them, if one was standing on the other's shoulders."

"But check out their clothing," Uhura whispered close to his ear. "It looks like something straight out of Washington Irving. You know, 'Rip Van Winkle' and 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.' It sure isn't modern. A green coat and hat. And pants that end at the knee, then are met by white socks. And the shoes and hats have buckles on them. And that red hair and beards! Just like pure Irishmen! I'm beginning to think that they really are Leprechauns."

So was Kirk. But he couldn't come right out and say it, or else he'd be telling the Leprechauns, er, Lappricons, too.

So he tucked his doubts away and put on his best amiable face. The welcome party smiled back.

"Welcome to our home!" sang out the one who seemed to be in charge.

"It is so good to be here," Kirk answered. "I bring greetings from the United Federation of Planets. I am Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise, and this is my Communication Officer, Lt. Nyota Uhura," he said as he turned to include her in the conversation. "Just as you stipulated, we are the only two from our crew who are visiting, although several of our specialists would be most anxious to study this beautiful world of yours." He gave it an approving glance. "It is so green and lush."

"Thank you," gushed the leader. "We are so proud of our world and wish to share our bounty with others. And you must forgive us our little deception with the invitations. You see, we wish to exchange cultural ideas, too, and have found that we obtain the best results if we ask for the ship's captain and communication officer to be our first visitors."

That sounded plausible to Kirk. "That is very understandable, sir."

"Sir?" the little man echoed. "Oh, forgive me! I did not introduce myself! I am Shurren and this is my chief minister, B. Gore-Ah," he explained as he indicated the red bearded man in green clothing beside him.

Kirk jerked and he could hear Uhura choke off a snicker beside him.

"Sure and begorrah?" Kirk repeated back. "You are sure and begorrah?"

"Aye," the little man affirmed. "Now come with us and have a wee taste of the brew. I'm sure you'll be needing to clear the dust of the trail from your throat after your long journey."

Oh, McCoy was going to have to see this place, Kirk thought as he took Uhura's elbow and followed the little green men into the rank green foliage of the land of the Lappricons.

Or was it Leprechuans? At this point, Kirk wasn't sure about anything anymore.


	6. The Return Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirk and Spock discuss the mission and bring each other up to date on what has happened since Kirk's departure. Then they join the rest of the Alpha crew on the Bridge where Kirk relaxes in their warmth and comradeship.

“Come.”

The door to Kirk’s quarters opened, and a whisper of cloth was heard as a tall, slender figure slipped inside like a soundless shadow that flits across a forgotten garden wall in the twilight. There was something timeless and elegant about the man’s appearance, and one was aware of all the grace and dignity of his very being. Then his harsh facial features relaxed when he saw the other man busily taking articles out of his luggage and setting them aside. And any onlooker would immediately know how much the newcomer thought of the other man and how deeply the respect went that he held for Kirk as he studied Kirk a moment before he spoke.

“Captain. You are back.”

“Mr. Spock,” Kirk said, turning toward him with a smile. He was just unpacking and was happy that Spock had come to welcome him home. They took a moment to luxuriate in the warmth and comradeship of simply being together again, and the deep feelings they felt for each other vibrated between them. Then Kirk decided to tease Spock a little as he turned back to his unpacking. “Is that a cheerful note in your voice? You seem almost happy to see me.”

“I am always happy to see you, Captain,” Spock answered diplomatically. “The question is if you are happy to see me. Let me phrase that differently,” Spock quickly amended as Kirk opened his mouth with undoubtedly an affirmative answer. “Are you thankful beyond measure to be back in friendly territory again? A place where you do not need to be worried about the reception of the natives or of the loyalty of your traveling companion?”

“Ah, I see what you mean. You should have been a lawyer, Mr. Spock. That question was loaded with all sorts of ‘ifs,’ ‘whatevers,’ and out-and-out innuendos, but I believe that you caught the atmosphere of the away mission very well.”

“I believe that my parents would have been pleased if I had sought out a career in the interpretation of the Law. They said that I was always tenacious in my quest for the meaning of something, even if it was at times a trying experience for them to help me.”

Insert "tolerate" for "help," Kirk thought. Spock must have trying, indeed, even back then. And a compliment from his parents, even though it was a left-handed one, was still a compliment. Kirk thought he could do better. His friend could be a pain at times, but Spock was still one of the people he cared for most in the universe, and Kirk would protect his feelings as well as his life.

“You would’ve been very good at a study of the Law, Mr. Spock. You certainly would have had the tenacity for it.”

“It comes from many years of sparring with Dr. McCoy,” Spock said with a pleased look on his face. “That experience has taught me to be quite adroit and very precise with whatever I say. For he was always waiting for any crack in the facade so that he could undermine my argument or my confidence. Such attention to detail inclined me to take my time with choosing exactly the right word or phrase to prove my point. It was time consuming, that is true. But quite rewarding in its own way.”

“And now?”

“We have found other things to do with our time that are quite rewarding in their own ways, too.” 

“So you’re saying you don’t argue anymore.”

“Occasionally it still has its uses. Say, when we believe we are not in the mood for romance or are seemingly too exhausted for a demonstration of the high regard we have for each other. At those times, we have found that if we use a lively debate to stimulate our libidos along more pleasant and athletic avenues, it is mutually beneficial for our purposes. We just have to remember that it is a means to an end, and not an end in itself.”

“Spock, you have the damnedest way of saying that you two engage in verbal foreplay that I’ve ever heard.”

“Now you are beginning to sound like my beloved Ashayam. He still makes adamant remarks of that nature to me.”

“Maybe you just bring it out in people.”

“Perhaps I do possess that knack.”

“Oh?” Spock was not one to pat himself on the back, so Kirk was instantly curious. “You must have some supporting evidence for that theory.”

Spock gave him a fond look. “Now you are starting to sound like me.”

“I guess that’s what happens when people are around each other a lot.”

“Perhaps. I was supporting my claim on the fact that Keenser is now assimilating much more easily with the crew. Why, he and I have discovered many points of similarities in our cultures.”

“You can talk together?”

“After a fashion. Then we do have the connection that we are some of the few aliens on this ship.”

“But if I was on Royla and Vulcan, then I would be the alien. It depends on who is talking and where you are. And that makes all the difference in the world.”

“So true. It is only in one’s perspective, after all. As you well might have had demonstrated to you on your away mission,” he said smoothly as he changed the subject. “I must inquire about your trip, Captain.”

“Of course, you do."

"It is part of my job. And, I must admit to a certain curiosity about what happened."

"Of course, you do. It was alright,” Kirk said with a small smile. Then his smile deepened as he thought it over. “In fact, it was more than alright. It was okay. In fact, quite productive,” he decided in a final analysis.

“I am glad to hear that. I was concerned about you while you were gone.”

“I know you were. Thank you. And I appreciate that,” Kirk said sincerely.

“But finding you in this state surprises me, too. You seem amazingly calm compared to when you left. It is as if you have returned from a short vacation rather than a journey with so many possible adverse outcomes.”

“Actually, it went really well, despite my earlier apprehensions about it,” Kirk said. “The Lappricons are a friendly sort, and we’ve made plans with them for more cultural and recreational exchanges. I think that it could be a recreational planet for families wanting a taste of rural living centuries ago in Europe or the United States. Sort of a ‘return to your roots’ kind of place where the kiddies can milk a cow with their hands just the way their seven times removed great-grandpa used to do it on the farm back in Iowa or in Ireland.”

“Ireland? Why do you say Ireland, when you could have mentioned Moravia or Italy just as easily? I can understand why you would say Iowa, but not Ireland.”

Kirk grinned. “Just something about the place reminded me of The Old Sod, that’s all. You’ll have to see the place to understand what I mean. I can’t wait to get McCoy there and see his reaction to it. He’ll think he’s died and gone to Heaven for sure." Kirk grinned fondly to himself in remembrance. "For sure and begorrah, he will.”

But what Kirk said had alarmed Spock. “If there is danger of Dr. McCoy's demise on that planet, I feel that I cannot allow him to travel to it. You and he will both have to forego his reaction of the place, if certain death for him will be the outcome of his experiencing it.”

“No, no, he won’t die,” Kirk said as he tried to reassure his concerned friend. Now he understood McCoy’s frustration when Spock got a literal meaning out of an idiom. Generally Spock understood Kirk’s idioms. Kirk supposed there was always a first time for everything, even for Spock misunderstanding an idiom from him. 

Kirk patted Spock’s arm to soothe him. “Don’t worry about McCoy. Uhura and I survived the place, and so will he. He’ll just be amazed by what he sees and hears, that’s all. He's gonna love the place, as we did.”

That seemed to satisfy Spock and gave him a perfect lead-in to his next question.

“And Lt. Uhura? If you do not mind my asking, how was the situation between you and her on the away mission?”

Ah, what he really wanted to know all along, Kirk realized. Spock had to have been burning with curiosity about what had transpired between the two intense, beautiful people while they were gone.

Kirk gave Spock a pleased smile. “Actually, it’s okay between us. She just needed some reassurances, and I saw where I had been failing her. We realized that there had been some misunderstandings between us, so we got a lot of that straightened out. Of course, as you know, working on any relationship is an ongoing thing. It has to be flexible enough to change, or else it won’t be able to stay fresh and viable. But we’re sure of our friendship now, so everything’s going to be just fine between us.”

“I am happy for you, Captain. I thought that you two might come back either as a couple or as sworn enemies. And those were the best scenarios I could construct. I was not certain if you you both would come back alive.”

Kirk laughed. “I hadn’t even given us that much of a chance. It all seemed pretty hopeless between us there for awhile.”

“It must have been quite a misunderstanding,” Spock prompted as an incentive to explain further, if Kirk was so inclined.

Kirk was.

“Actually, I thought she hated me,” Kirk said. “But I discovered that I just needed to give her something to believe in. It seemed I cut too many corners for her style and didn’t give enough respect to established institutions the way she thought I should. That went from anything from Starfleet Command to the cop on the nearest street corner. Trouble was, I was always coming out on top and smelling like a rose while proving the other guy, and authority, wrong or bungling or both. She thought I should know what it felt like to fail before I could appreciate what it was to win. And a little bit of humility and regret wouldn’t hurt my outlook, either, she thought.”

Spock’s eyes twinkled. “Somehow I believe I can relate to all of that. It seems not so long ago that I had similar thoughts about a certain brash young cadet who had no respect for rules or even for fear itself.”

Kirk’s eyes twinkled back. “Yeah, and it took a certain Vulcan who wouldn’t give on him until he’d finally had to face the fear of losing a whole shipload of people who were depending on him to save them. He didn’t mind Death for himself so much as letting down all of those people. And when the fear of death and failure were bearing down on that cadet the hardest, that same Vulcan stood beside him and showed him what real courage is: To face what scares you, but to keep on doing the best job you know how until you can’t do anything anymore. For only then can you feel good about yourself.”

“And that brash young cadet learned that lesson well. For out of base metal, a weapon of the finest steel has been forged.”

“All because of one stubborn Vulcan.”

“And one brash young cadet who had more inside him than even he realized.” Then an eyebrow went up slightly. “But even still, that brash young cadet emerges from that man tempered into fine steel to test the patience of that disgruntled Vulcan.”

Kirk winked and broke the serious conversation. “Yeah, I do tend to steamroll over people like I’m an express train, don't I? You know the kind I’m talking about. It doesn’t stop for anything or anybody.” He glimpsed at Spock. “But I’m learning. I’m learning to be smarter. I’m learning to stop a little oftener. And I’m learning to give the people in my life something to love. Because it’s so wonderful when they respond to it,” he added softly.

“That works both ways, T’hy’la. Because you truly do have a beautiful soul. Why, there are times that I would swear that you are almost Vulcan.”

Kirk laughed. “Now, that’s a compliment!” He sobered then and gave Spock a genuine smile as they left his quarters and headed down the corridor. “I am glad that you appreciate it, too.”

“Of course, I do. Without you and Leonard, I would be nothing.” Spock drew himself up. “But I have you both now.”

“Yes, you do,” Kirk said with a grin. “As for Uhura, well, we’re like brother and sister now. And if Keenser wasn’t around, I believe that she would be interested in Scotty.”

That surprised Spock. “Mr. Scott?”

“She had a lot of nice things to say about him on the way back, even if he didn’t appreciate her using Keenser for a clothes dummy to fit clothing for a teddy bear. I think she just had to have a chance to get to know him better."

"That certainly happened fast. She was no fan of his when she was trying to stir us into action to protect Keenser."

"I've got a theory about that" Kirk said as they stepped into the turbo lift and Kirk punched in their destination. "Underneath, Uhura was intrigued by him, but didn't realize it. That happens sometimes with sexual tension. Our interest comes out as something else, or we get frustrated because we cannot get the other person's attention."

Spock looked mellow with happiness blended in. "I believe I can relate to that."

"Yes, you should be able to," Kirk agreed with a laugh.

"It seems I have experienced a similar circumstance with my dear Dr. McCoy a time or two."

"At least a time or two," Kirk agreed with a chuckle as he remembered the rocky road his friends had traveled on their way to romance. "Anyway, Uhura knows Scotty better now. She likes his spark and quick wit, but its his humanity deep inside him that appeals to her. His large heart is winning her over.”

“But I cannot quite imagine those two together, Captain.”

“The heart wants what the heart wants, Mr. Spock. Logic doesn’t have a thing to do with it. How else can you explain your romantic relationship with Bones? I mean, the two of you were a sucker bet at best and such a long shot that no bookie worth his salt would’ve even considered laying odds on you two.”

“And yet we are now inseparable.”

“And that, as they say, is what makes horse races and love stories,” Kirk assured him as he slapped his arm with affection as the door of the turbo lift opened and they stepped onto the Bridge of the Enterprise.

“Captain on the Bridge!” Chekov sang out.

Hikaru Sulu turned and grinned fondly at his seat-mate who was gazing with ardor and respect at Kirk. Chekov's hero-worship of Kirk was blatant and true. He really loved his dear captain. And his dear Mr. Sulu. Sulu was more than his friend. He was father-figure, confidant, and ardent lover.

Pavel Chekov was so young and so open and so sweet, it was difficult to remember how talented and intelligent he really was. Sulu continually was finding new things to love about him. But it was Chekov's trust and adoration of Sulu that kept the Enterprise pilot by Chekov's side, literally and emotionally.

But the way that Chekov came to him at night, with his eyes wide open with love and trust, and allowed Sulu to bring him to his full potential always overwhelmed Sulu with the gravity of his responsibility to the youngster. But when Sulu entered that willing body waiting for him with so much love and trust, he found a capable lover who satisfied Sulu's every craving, also. Sulu was fascinated with his man-child and wondered if he would ever solve the mystery of Chekov's seeming naivete that somehow echoed a knowing that was as old and as vast as the Russian steppes themselves.

Meanwhile, Jim Kirk was feeling a little self-conscious by the attention he was receiving. He always experienced ambivalent feelings whenever Chekov sang out that announcement as Kirk stepped onto the Bridge from the turbo lift. For one thing, it meant that Kirk had finally made it and he was getting the recognition that he had so richly deserved. He finally had earned the right to run with the big dogs, in his mind and in theirs. But on the other hand, the official heralding of his arrival seemed superficial, as if it was too grandiose for him. After all, he was just a guy reporting for his job. But still it warmed him through and through to hear those magical words and to see Pavel Chekov’s shining, young face looking at him with almost hero worship. That was heady stuff for someone as young and inexperienced as James T. Kirk. Hell, it would be heady stuff for anyone! And James T. Kirk was going to enjoy it!

Because, Holy Hell! He was captain of the fecking Enterprise, mighty fecking flagship of the whole fecking Starfleet! (As Scotty would say.) 

It felt good to be back on the Bridge, Jim Kirk thought as he settled into the familiar feel of the command chair. True, it had been only a few days since he and Uhura had gone on their mission, but it felt a lot longer than that. He returned greetings with Sulu and Chekov who seemed to sigh with relief that Kirk was back with them. It was not that Spock had not done a good job in Kirk’s absence or that Sulu and Chekov hadn’t trusted him, it was just that everything felt more normal since everyone was back where they belonged. The gang was back together again!

Kirk glanced at Spock hunched over his instruments. Already their camaraderie of a few moments ago had been shelved, and it was all business for Spock again. He would answer Kirk’s questions without preamble and as succinctly as he was able. But for the rest of the shift, their personal lives and relationships would be forgotten. And that was the way it should be. 

No, nothing much had changed on the Bridge since Kirk and Uhura had left on their mission. Then he happened to glance her way, and she turned as if she sensed his focus on her. Her lips turned up with a genuine, sincere smile and her eyes shone with warmth for him. He returned her heartfelt affection, then straightened so he could observe the forward viewing screen.

He sighed deeply with satisfaction. It was a great day to be traveling among the stars!

And he knew he had a crew with him who felt the same way.


	7. Another Dire Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scotty is sad and listless because of Keenser's abandonment, so Kirk decides that he needs to clean up the mess he created by trying to reconcile the two.

It was well into the third hour of the Alpha shift when the turbo lift door opened and Montgomery Scott came wandering onto the Bridge. “Captain,” he greeted absently with a brief nod as he glanced at Kirk. He seemed to have a preoccupied look on his face as if he really wasn’t conscious of where he was, but he did remember to acknowledge his captain.

Kirk returned the greeting with a quick nod of his own. “Mr. Scott.”

Scott continued to wander around absently for a few moments as he casually surveyed the engineering computers on the Bridge. But that really didn’t seem to be his goal, so he drifted over to where Sulu was piloting the Enterprise.

Sulu glanced up when it became obvious that Scotty was hovering over him. “May I help you, Mr. Scott?” Sulu finally asked with a questioning look on his face.

“How is our lady handling today, Mr. Sulu?”

Sulu beamed as he maneuvered the spaceship. “Smooth as silk, sir. She is skimming past stars and space dust alike as if she was sailing a celestial sea and has the right of way before anything else in the heavens.” Sulu could wax poetic when it came to the Enterprise. She made poets out of a lot of her crew members, especially the ones who were lucky enough to work with her intimately. She was just that great of a ship, and Sulu would be the first to sing her praises as he was now.

“Hmm,” Scotty noted with a thoughtful frown. He seemed concerned about something. And that concern telegraphed itself to others. 

Chekov glimpsed over. “Is there a problem, sir?”

“No, no, nothing.” He moved away and left Sulu and Chekov wondering what that was all about.

Scotty continued his stroll around the Bridge. He stopped at Spock’s station, and the Vulcan gave him a skeptical look instead of a questioning one or even a welcoming one. Spock did not like to be interrupted by petty intrusions while he was working and generally made his annoyance known, as he was doing now. He was plainly not happy to be hosting a guest.

“Mr. Scott,” Spock said in a voice that suggested that no one had better be bothering him with anything trite, because now was the time to be all business.

“Mr. Spock,” Scotty answered in an unapologetic voice, although he did not tarry any longer at Spock’s station, but hurried to Uhura’s side as if hoping for a friendlier reception.

Uhura looked up and gave him a nice smile. Relieved that he had found a sympathetic heart, Scotty actually took a moment to smile back at Uhura and to appreciate her kindness. Then his face changed back to its haunted look again. He turned away from her, much to her surprise and concern and she stared after his retreating figure.

“Are you needing something, Mr. Scott?” Kirk asked as Scotty passed his chair.

Scotty’s head snapped up and he could see the inquisitiveness on Kirk’s face and could feel Uhura’s puzzled eyes on his back. He could feel nothing but sympathetic concern from them, so that helped him.

“No, no, not really,” Scotty mumbled, downcast. He squared his shoulders and raised his head. He should be more responsive to the captain than that. “Just checking that everything up here is running smoothly, sir.”

“Is there a problem?”

“Not that I know of, sir.”

“Have you checked the engines lately?”

“No, no, not really,” he answered in the same lackluster voice again. His heart just didn’t seem to be in his work today, and Scotty loved his work.

“Haven’t you and Keenser been doing routine inspections?”

“Keenser has. On his shift.” Scotty bit his lips together. “And I have been. On mine.”

Kirk frowned. “You two aren’t on the same shift anymore?” When had that happened?!

Scotty grimaced and actual pain seemed to mar his face. “No, sir. He wanted to learn from others. And I dinnae wanna hold him back any from new experiences.”

Scotty did not realize what a slap across the face his answer was to Kirk. Kirk had not realized that his initial suggestion about Keenser widening his horizons would have such a dire consequence. He hadn’t meant to split the two friends completely apart.

Kirk had to punish himself by hearing more. “And how is that all working out?”

“My shift is very routine and easy,” Scotty answered. Monotonous and boring were not mentioned, but were easily understood. “Nothing much goes on down there, it seems. The engines run, the ship moves. And that is that.”

Kirk felt he had to make it up to Scotty somehow. “You know, I don’t like that the engines haven’t routinely been inspected for awhile, Mr. Scott. I think that we should go do that right now.”

Scotty blinked, not really believing what he was hearing. 

“Would you like some help, Mr. Scott? I know a little bit about using a wrench and tightening a screw here or there,” Kirk prompted, not knowing how he could make it much plainer.

Scotty shook himself and seemed to wake up. “Well, aye, yes. Help is always appreciated.” His eyes began to shine, and he looked like his old self again. “And I believe I can put my hands on a spanner for you the moment we get there. Yes, I know I can!”

“Good!” Kirk jumped out of the command chair. He felt a shot of playfulness tear through him. Maybe some dirty physical work was what he was needing, too.

“Mr. Spock, you have the conn!” Kirk called back over his shoulder as he and the excited Scotty headed for the turbo lift like a couple of boys skipping school.

Without blinking an eye, Mr. Spock turned from his instruments and headed for the conn while another crewman effortlessly slid into his place and took over Spock’s station.

And all the while, the Enterprise moved through the heavens as smoothly as silk under Sulu’s careful piloting and Chekov’s meticulous navigating.

They were all finely tuned working machines. And the Enterprise was the greatest one of them all.

Kirk and Scotty appeared for dinner a little late that evening, but with smiles on their greasy faces as they piled down with hearty grunts and satisfied sighs beside Spock and McCoy in the mess hall.

“Ah, the toilers of the fields have lain down their scythes and have returned to their humble huts after a day of honest labor,” McCoy muttered with a wry smile and gentle humor. Then he noticed that they weren't exactly clean. “Have you guys ever heard of showers and their uses? You know it’s a sound principle for the removal of all that muck and grime you’ve accumulated through your hours of slithering through the belly of our mighty starship, don't you? You're supposed to grease down the ship, not yourselves.”

“Bones, you’re just jealous because you’ve forgotten how rewarding it is to toil with your hands.”

“I toil with my hands,” McCoy countered. “Just differently. I can manage to do it without rolling in whatever I’m slathering on my patients. While you guys-- Well, all I can say is that the quartermaster in charge of the laundry won’t be sending you two any sweet thoughts when he sees your uniforms. You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t dry them with some sort of itching powder that activates when it touches warm skin. Then he'll get his revenge.”

“You’ve got a weird streak in you, McCoy,” Kirk remarked as he plowed into his meat and potatoes. “Man, this meal makes me appreciate hard labor! You can’t build up appetites like we’ve got if you push a pencil around all day. Right, Scotty?”

“That’s right!” He was shoveling in the food, too, and really enjoying himself. His eyes were sparkling with happiness as he said, "We got the grand lady so she should be purring along quite contented for a little while at least."

"That's right," Kirk agreed. "And next time you're thinking that she needs a little bit of coaxing from our grease rags, you come and get me. Crawling inside her is like a vacation to me."

"You got it, Captain!" Scotty reassured him and dug lustily into his meal. Food hadn't tasted this good to him in a long time, and he was really enjoying himself until he abruptly stopped with his fork in midair. His eyes seemed to glaze over, but otherwise he didn’t move. The change in him was astounding.

“What happened?” Kirk wanted to know, impressed by Scotty’s ability to come to a grinding halt so thoroughly. “What turned this man into stone? Why isn't he eating? Why isn't he moving? Why isn't he blinking? Bones, will the same thing happen to me? If it does, I hope it waits until after I finish this wonderful food.”

McCoy turned around, spotted something, then returned to his own food. “Oyster sighting at two o’clock. If that’s not the problem, then modern medicine is baffled. But I think it’s our little friend who’s become the social butterfly of this flying tin can that has gobsmacked our Chief Engineer so thoroughly.”

Kirk scanned the diners across the room, but almost missed seeing Keenser because he was sitting down so low in his chair. “Hmm. Seems like he’s graduated from his one-bean diet. There's at least three piles of food on his plate. That's more than one bean, or even two. He’s eating pretty hefty for him, isn’t he, Scotty?”

That question seemed to bring Scotty to his senses. “Aye. And if he keeps on eating like that, he’ll get a bellyache and will need to have his belly rubbed again.”

Kirk and McCoy stared at Scotty, and even Spock turned his way with a questioning look on his face.

“Well, it happened to him!” Scotty insisted.

“And did you provide the belly rubbing service for him?” Jim Kirk drawled with a flirty look.

“You don’t know what it was like!” Scotty thundered. “All we had was each other! I couldn’t let the poor lad suffer with that tight stomach now, could I?! I had to strip off most of his uniform before I could get at him proper-like. And then, when all of that pressure did release, even he couldn't stand the gassy fog. So I had to reverse the ventilation system to exhaust and hunt up a couple of fans that probably hadn't been used since Delta Vega was a desert! But at least we finally got the air so we could breathe it again.”

“I believe that is a ‘yes,’ Captain,” Spock drawled and stunned the others with his perfectly deadpan face.

“It was nothing sexual,” Scotty mumbled with a rosy tint on his cheeks. "I don't care if I did have him stripped nearly naked!"

“Whatever happened between you two on Delta Vega is your business, and nobody else’s,” Kirk informed him. “Nobody’s here to judge you.” But voyeur Kirk was interested in any details he could glean from the conversation. And rubbing someone’s tummy while that person was practically naked was certainly something sexual to Kirk, even if it didn’t seem to be for Scotty. 

Several days later Kirk was called to the engine room during the Beta shift. “What’s up, Tomlinson? I was going to read a new Western novel that came for me in the dispatch today.”

Tomlinson grinned and pointed. “Keenser wants to show you places that only he can get into in the engines. He’s got your spanner, and everything is set.”

Kirk grinned fondly. “Why, thank you for inviting me, Keenser. I would enjoy a tour like that very much.” And for the second time that week, Kirk got himself covered with grease but he thoroughly enjoyed himself.

Of course, Scotty heard about the incident and confronted Kirk about it.

“So I worked on the engines with Keenser,” Kirk said, trying to toss it off. “So what?”

“But it was something special between you and me, Captain. It was something we could do together.”

“Well, it can be something special that Keenser and I can do together, too,” Kirk said in a reasonable voice. “There’s enough of me to go around, Scotty. I can be friends with both of you. I can’t neglect one of you for the other.”

“Don’t you understand, man? It’s the last straw. I’ve had it. I’ve shared him about as much as I can stand. In fact, it’s to the place that I’d like a just little piece of him for myself, but that doesn't seem possible anymore. And now I'm supposed to share you, too.”

Kirk frowned. “It’s gotten that bad?”

“He and I are suitemates, but I don’t see him anymore, what with the different shifts and all. I might as well be rooming with a shadow.”

“I’m sorry, Scotty. I thought it’d be better for your relationship with him if it wasn’t all-inclusive. But I guess I was wrong.”

“You had the right idea, Jim. It was coming from your heart, and I should have thought about it myself when he and I got to a place where it was possible to have a wider range of acquaintances. But now we’ve grown apart."

"Can't anything be done?"

"Maybe it's all for the best," said the sorrowing Scotty. "Things change. People change. Relationships--" He bit his lips together. "Relationships change. So maybe it’s a good time for me to move on.”

Kirk's heart thudded. He didn't want to lose the engaging, but brilliant Scotsman. “You’d leave the Enterprise?”

“I’m a wandering stone, Jim. I thought I’d found a home here, but I cannae be in this no-relationship with the wee man. I cannae do that at all. I would rather turn me back on all of it and go skittering off into the universe and hope I can eventually make a safe mooring.” 

His Scottish burr had gotten so thick in the last moment that Jim Kirk finally understood just how upset Scotty was.

Well, here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into. Jim Kirk could almost hear the famous line from Laurel and Hardy. And it fit him so well because it was so true.

He waited until he knew Keenser would be alone in the suite.

Keenser opened the door and looked up at Kirk.

“May I come in?” Kirk asked. This was going to be an odd conversation since Keenser didn’t talk, at least not in the conventional manner.

Kirk followed Keenser inside and sat on the chair that Keenser indicated. Then Keenser sat himself and looked at Kirk expectantly.

“Keenser, I want you to know how well you have fit into the life on this starship and how glad we are as a crew to have you with us.”

Keenser kept staring at him.

“I think it is wonderful that you have joined in so many activities and have become friendly with a large number of the crew. That will only enrich all of your lives.”

Keenser apparently agreed because he did not say anything.

“But in doing so, you have neglected Scotty.” He talked faster because Keenser turned his head aside. “It wasn’t Scotty’s idea for you to get around other people. It was mine. He was happy the way things were.” Keenser looked back at him. “And the only reason that Scotty went along with my idea was because I said that he had to think about you and your need to learn about what life had to offer to you. I said he was selfish to keep you all to himself. Well, now I’m saying the direct opposite to you about Scotty, because you are ignoring him to be with your new friends.” 

Keenser straightened up. Apparently he hadn’t thought of it that way.

“You can’t shut Scotty out of your life this way. He is still special to you, and you are still special to him. You shared something together that no one else will ever have with either of you. It is so special to Scotty that he is willing to leave the Enterprise if he cannot have it again.”

Keenser looked alarmed.

“That’s right.” Kirk pushed himself to his feet. “Well, I just wanted you to know. A smart guy like you will be able to figure out the best thing for both of you, I believe.”

He let himself out the door. The last glimpse he had of Keenser was of the wee guy staring after him.

Scotty sat dejectedly on his sofa and answered the buzz on his door just as listlessly. Then he perked up when Keenser walked through the door. But just as quickly, he lost heart again.

“Aye? And what do you want?” Scotty growled.

Keenser offered him a sack.

“What the feck is this?” Scotty growled. 

Keenser shook the sack.

"What the hell? Might as well humor you if you're so adamant about it," Scotty mumbled as he leaned forward. He took the sack, reached inside, and drew out a small wooden box with some painted flowers on it.

“Eh?” Scotty frowned as he looked inside. “It’s empty.” Then he noticed a piece of paper which he picked up and read.

‘This is a tole friendship memory box. I made it for you and painted the flowers on it myself,’ the note said. ‘It is empty now because we have only begun to collect our memories together. Will you please make more memories with me, because I want to make more memories with you.’

Scotty stared at the noncommittal face watching him so earnestly and felt tears spring into his eyes.

“I think that is a fine plan,” he said. Then he reached down, lifted Keenser up, and tucked him into his side beside him on the sofa. "There now. That's better now, isn't it?" he said as he drew his arm around Keenser's shoulder to draw him closer.

Keenser's only answer was to lean his head against Scotty's chest. And that is where they stayed for a long time, just enjoying being together again.

At one point Keenser took Scotty’s hand and let him feel the size of his organ of procreation that was not proportionate to the rest of his small body. And it had been growing some since he had been sitting so close to Scotty.

“That is a mighty tool you have on yourself,” Scotty noted with some awe. “And those ridges on it don’t give much, do they? You must be murder on the ladies when that thing goes on a rampage.”

Keenser shook his head in denial.

“Not the ladies, eh? Who then? Who is it meant for?” he finished softly, suddenly wanting to be on the short list of recipients.

Keenser pointed at him.

“Me?! Are you certain?”

Keenser nodded.

“Are you sure, love?” Scotty asked softly. "For if that really and truly is meant for me, that would please me to no end. And that's a fact, because I've been missing you something fierce."

Keenser ground Scotty’s hand further into his groin, and Scott felt that magnificent third leg moving under his hand.

“I guess I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” he said softly. “But only if you want this to happen.”

That question did not come up again for debate as neither party had any objection about proceeding with their pleasant activities, especially when it came time for Scotty to lie down and let Keenser undress him for a change.

But Keenser didn't rub Scotty's belly. Well, maybe just a little bit. At first.

The ridges on Keenser's penis didn't hurt at all, Scotty soon learned. In fact, they just added to the pleasure. Because they could ripple through a body with all sorts of interesting effects that could send a man right out of himself and not caring one bit where he landed. As long as it was in the arms of the wee man himself, that is.

And it was pleasure, alright. Pure pleasure.

The next day, Scotty said that somebody else could take Keenser's room, for Keenser was no longer Scotty's suitemate.

Now he was Scotty's roommate.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


End file.
